The university plans to spend more money on dormitory to improve the life quality of students, which of the following do you think is the best way:
1. Providing a room for quiet study;
2. Building an exercise room;
3. Building a place for students to get entertained (like, a place for students to watch films).
Some people think that providing a room for quiet places to study is the best way to improve students' life quality. Others claim that building an exercise room is a more ideal approach. Still, others maintain that establishing a palce for students to get entertained is more favorable. As far as I am concerned, I believe that
To begin with, in order to improve the life quality of students, universities should make sure that students have access to relax whenever they felt under a lot of pressure. Conspicuously, providing exercise rooms can assist students in ameliorating their stress. Take my university, National Tsing-hua University, as an example. Many National Tsing-hua University students studied for more than 6 hours per day. Hence, a year ago, my college planned to establish more than 10 exercise rooms for undergraduate students to use. Thus, students can use the treadmills and ride stationary bicycles when they felt overwhelmed doing their report. Consequently, most students in my college did not feel stressed or depressed, despite the fact that they spent nearly a third of their time on academic activities. On the other hand, the National Taiwan University provided several cubicles for students to study in the dormitory. As a result, students often feel stressed whenever they saw their classmates studying in the room, and after the cubicles were set up, half of the students decided to spend 4 hours more time per day studying in these rooms. In other words, despite the fact that the students' average academic performance improved drastically, many people in in National Taiwan University still faced humongous peer pressure.
In addition, ensuring that students are healthy is a good method to improve students' life quality, and establishing an exercise room can undoubtedly help students become healthier. Take my school again as an example. After the National Tsing-hua university set up several gym, students gradually developed a good habit of exercising regularly. To be more specific, a recent survey indicated that 60% of undergraduates in my college were willing to exercise for approximately 8 hours per week. Furthermore, since people exercise on a weakly basis, 99% of the students did not have any health issues. Contrarily, my brother's college built 40 small rooms for students to play video games, watch movies together, etc. Accordingly, since the majority of students considered these rooms to be extremely comfortable and cozy, they spent no less than 5 hours per day doing indoor activities there. Unfortunately, most students adopted an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle, and a considerable number of students faced chronic diseases such as obesity and hypertension, and lots of people's life quality deteriorated because they must take pills and measure their blood pressure on a daily basis. Evidently, providing students a place to get entertained cannot improve students' health and their quality of life.
In conclusion, I maintain that building exercise rooms is the most advisable approach to enhance students' life quality, considering the aforementioned reasons. After all, in order to improve students' life quality, school must make sure that students are not under too much pressure. Also, making sure that people are healthy is another ideal way to increase life quality.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 327, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...As far as I am concerned, I believe that To begin with, in order to improve the l...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun National seems to be countable; consider using: 'Many '.
Suggestion: Many
...al Tsing-hua University, as an example. Many National Tsing-hua University students studied f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1260, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: in
...mance improved drastically, many people in in National Taiwan University still faced ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 265, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun gym seems to be countable; consider using: 'several gyms'.
Suggestion: several gyms
...he National Tsing-hua university set up several gym, students gradually developed a good ha...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, consequently, furthermore, hence, if, so, still, third, thus, after all, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in other words, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2812.0 1977.66487455 142% => OK
No of words: 526.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34600760456 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89783485263 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 212.727598566 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486692015209 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 888.3 618.680645161 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 15.0 4.94265232975 303% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8677008655 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.48 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.04 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.6 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.453221119465 0.236089414692 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144777075786 0.076458572812 189% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0949982121616 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.321467654415 0.150856017488 213% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0994632942261 0.0645574589148 154% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.