Watching a performance in person is preferable to viewing it on television

Essay topics:

Watching a performance in person is preferable to viewing it on television.

Some people prefer to view performances on their comfortable couch in their living room. They cite that they can enjoy the performance more privately and can save energy without having to go outside. However, I disagree to these people and prefer watching performance with my own eyes in the reality rather than viewing in through television. I will support my viewpoint with the following two reasons.
First of all, the quality of the audio is significantly different. Watching and listening with my own eyes and ears in person has much strong clarity and perceptiveness. Although these days’ technologies had developed and broadcasts such high-quality, pristine videos, it can’t be compared to the live show itself. For example, I went to a famous Korean women diva, Jo Soo Mi’s concert once. She was very famous for singing as a soprano singer in the orchestra. On the live concert, I could hear her high pitch voice which I couldn’t hear through the TV. I could feel the voice through my skin which made goosebumps. Personally, I think that no matter how high you set the volume on the TV or no matter what good speakers you use, the sound can’t compete with the live voice. Thus, this kind of gap between the experiences leads me to going to performances in the reality.
Second of all, I can feel the atmosphere and get along with the crowds and the performer. Audiences express many different kinds of reactions, silence due to complete awe or extreme applause like standing ovation. I can participate with these people, sometimes clapping, yelling, and making whispers. Albeit it is possible to show these expressions alone at home, creating bonds with other people isn’t viable. For example, I once participated in a local festival hosting one of the most famous artist, Psy. He was notorious for his concerts for not sending audiences home until dawn. Thousands of local residents came to see his show, and as his reputation, his expression of energy and prowess controlling audiences was formidable. Audiences jumped and danced as he guided and we all became together. Never have participating in such exciting concert before, this unforgettable experience brought a huge shock to me and thought me how fun it is to go to live concerts.
All in all, whether watching performances in one’s home or going to the live place can be controversial depending on each person. Some might prefer enjoying performances on a quiet place. However, I personally believe that it is much beneficial to be in the place directly rather than watching it through other mediums. It has better quality overall, and I can feel and join the atmosphere in the reality.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 109, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ds and the performer. Audiences express many different kinds of reactions, silence due to comp...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 407, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and join the atmosphere in the reality.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, second, so, thus, as for, for example, i think, kind of, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2227.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 448.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97098214286 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82764400014 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.560267857143 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 676.8 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.2718895026 48.9658058833 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.6538461538 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2307692308 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.42307692308 5.45110844103 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178324922321 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0465182263047 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789366189914 0.0737576698707 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136149822778 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109408805243 0.0645574589148 169% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.25 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.