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Young people should try many different kinds of jobs or career before they decide the long term career of their life.

Essay topics: Young people should try many different kinds of jobs or career before they decide the long term career of their life.

yoonjung1917@gmail.com's picture

As the society became more competitive and uncertain, many people debate on the issue that the young should try as many different jobs as they can before they start their long-term career. However, I disagree on such claim since attempting different jobs or career is neither helpful for the future job market nor beneficial to individual's status.

To begin with, getting many different experiences does not always guarantee the success of the future. In these days, even though the world has become more competitive and unpredictable, many companies still require for the experts who have deep understanding in their own fields. When young people obtain useless or irrelevant skills that can be hardly used in their field, then, it would be nothing more than not having any skills. For example, when I was counselling for the job applicats in college, I saw many applicants who had too many skills that are not needed for their applied position. One of them, who wanted to become a journalist , acquired a taxi driver's license which is needless in his field. Other applicants who was studying to become an accountant also had an Asian shef certificate which is useless in his resume. Some may consider experiences are interesting but people who would hire them are less likely to attracted to such experience which seems irrelevant to their work. Therefore, it can be said that getting such experiences is not helpful in real job market.

Moreover, getting too many experiences might cause big confusion among the young people. As I mentioned above, young people sometimes commit mistakes such as obtaining unnecessary experience. However, considering the limited time and financial resources they have, too many different jobs would make young people chaotic. It is possible that majority will suffer from the excessive experiences which only cause confusion. When they lose their way to reach their future career, they may fall into psychological depression and even worse, they would kill themselves. For example, most of my friends from college were forced to get internships which is not important for their future career regreted their past decision since they did not have a break to reconsider the current status and consequently fall apart from their early goals. From this experiences, I never tell job applicants to do anything at this moment to fill out empty space in their resume.

In sum, trying many different jobs should be avoided to gaurantee the future of the young people.

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Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 116, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... the issue that the young should try as many different jobs as they can before they start thei...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 24, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...uals status. To begin with, getting many different experiences does not always guarantee t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 645, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... them, who wanted to become a journalist , acquired a taxi drivers license which i...
^^
Line 5, column 270, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... and financial resources they have, too many different jobs would make young people chaotic. I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 840, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...fall apart from their early goals. From this experiences, I never tell job applicant...
^^^^
Line 7, column 16, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ace in their resume. In sum, trying many different jobs should be avoided to gaurantee the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, apart from, for example, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2097.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13970588235 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66025231705 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.553921568627 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8231575289 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.5 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6666666667 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11111111111 5.45110844103 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.85842293907 337% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364337150787 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114536709094 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.128779495968 0.0737576698707 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.280315656248 0.150856017488 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.1392544942 0.0645574589148 216% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 11.7677419355 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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