Your city or province has received a large donation of money to improve the education of children. It must choose between spending the money on the improvement of early childhood education (for children ages 4 to 7) and spending money on the improvement of education for older children (ages 11 to 14). Which do you think is the better option? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
If my city recived a large donation of money to improve the education of children, I think that it should spend the money on improvement of education for older children (ages 11 to 14). I base this opinion on several reasons. Some of them are logical, some of them are drawn from my own experiance, and some of them are purely scientifical.
Althogh young children (ages 4 to 7) learn new things the fastest, teenagers learn them more effective. Reason for this is development of prefrontal cortex in the brain at this age. Not only that teenagers learn different things in this life period, they also make conections between them and link them in some sort of a network. They than make theirown decisions and conclusions based on what they learnd in school and outside of it. But, prefrontal cortex isn’t the only part of the brain that reaches its maximum stage of development in this age. Other centers in the brain that we usualy link with making decisions in life do too. Based on this we can deduct that better education in this period of life is crucial for developmental of critical thinking, assement of danger, seeing difference between wrong and right and so on.
Next, teenagers also need better education so that they can make good decisions abot their later education. This is exactly the period when kids make their preferences towards certain subjects in school. This influence emancely later decisions in life regarding field of study in college and later job opportunities. I think that we should provide kids with best possible education in every single subject so that they can make later decisions regarding their future based purely on their preferences and not on the fear of not knowing enough.
In a conclusion, I think that investment in the education of children at any age is a good thing. For the reasons listed and discussed in this essay, I would argue that we should spend money on improving education for teenagers, but spending money on education at any level can’t be a bad thing.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 310, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'sort of'.
Suggestion: sort of
...ions between them and link them in some sort of a network. They than make theirown decisi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 354, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the best'.
Suggestion: with the best
...es. I think that we should provide kids with best possible education in every single subj...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, regarding, so, i think, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1671.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 348.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80172413793 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60240616275 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.488505747126 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 517.5 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5873203929 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.4375 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.75 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.875 5.45110844103 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256330005901 0.236089414692 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0877786994926 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.164351626481 0.0737576698707 223% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207275619058 0.150856017488 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.161219423511 0.0645574589148 250% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.