Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, the media is so developed that any information can get in a minute. Media makes possible to bring the information about the celebrity we loved. However, some people think that famous entertainers and athletes required more privacy but others hold the opposite perspective. Not surprisingly, the number of controversies over this issue is overwhelming. Among this controversy, I prefer that they need more privacy. There are several reasons for holding this opinion which I will elaborate followings.
First and foremost, celebrity are also ordinary people like us and they have a habit, family, friends, hobbies etc. and also take rest after hard work. I can imagine how irritating it was when someone follows me all the time and make an uncomfortable situation. For instance, celebrity children feel that way because media always alert to follow them to know their lifestyle, friends, clothes they wear etc. Moreover, when they went to the party if something unusual phenomena occurs they focus that on the news. Recently, one of the famous singer Justine Beber caught at the party when having drugs. This type of occurrence is common in the Hollywood industry because sometimes lots of pressure under the shoulder the celebrity have to tolerate. The media exaggerate the situation and telecast the news. As a result, people misunderstood him, criticized and scold him. This hampers his personal life and I personally believe that every person's life is not perfect and eccentric occurrence also happen in their life also. But, they are ordinary people and that's why is not forecast on the news. Thus, a famous person requires more privacy than we thought.
Furthermore, leaking personal information not only make a negative impact on the celebrity, but it also impose negative impact on the ordinary people. For particular, media leak information about the property, luxurious life, bank statement, house of the celebrity which is never come true for the ordinary people. As a result, they feel inferior in their life and sometimes think that they can also achieve in their life by the illegal task. One of my friends who always want to be a celebrity because it will give him a frame in a short time and also a luxurious life. So, he started some illegal activities to achieve the frame and used all his money. After some years later, he realized that he has nothing and all property has gone and finally he attempts to suicide. Thus, information can also provide negative influence to the ordinary people.
To recapitulate, all the evidence facts I provided above pretty convinced that celebrities need more privacy for their future life. Because they are always not be focused by the public in future but for their stressless life they deserve a healthy, usual life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 938, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...ife and I personally believe that every persons life is not perfect and eccentric occur...
Line 5, column 1017, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...ic occurrence also happen in their life also. But, they are ordinary people and that...
Line 5, column 1057, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
...also. But, they are ordinary people and thats why is not forecast on the news. Thus, ...
Line 9, column 105, Rule ID: IT_VBZ
Message: Did you mean 'imposes'?
...ve impact on the celebrity, but it also impose negative impact on the ordinary people....
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, thus, for instance, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2346.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 459.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11111111111 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66288338573 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522875816993 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 769.5 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.2899762195 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.8888888889 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.62962962963 5.45110844103 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135145110668 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0377558697535 0.076458572812 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0453020092085 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0851390765209 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0425727661661 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.06 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.