TPO 27 Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement If people have the opportunity to get a secure job they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying Use specific reasons and ex

Occupation is an inseparable part of human life. Everybody attempts to find an appropriate job since they have started their education in elementary school. Although people prefer to have a satisfying job as they wish, they might be tempted by secure job offers. In that situation, some people decided to wait till they can gain a proper job while others accept the offer so their path diverts. As far as I am concerned, I agree that people take a safe job when they have their chance. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
First of all, when people do not have a job, they feel various kinds of unpleasant emotions that can be affected to make an unexpected decision. They are worried about if they could find a job or not; besides, maybe they are on the pressure of poverty. As time goes, they suppose that their ability is not sufficient and they lost their confidence gradually. So, they accept an offer that suggests a secure job and they can not contemplate its sequences in the future time. For instance, I came to Tehran two years ago for finding a job and I did not think about a suitable job at first. I need a job just for gaining money and remaining in Tehran since I did not like to return to my town. When I receive the first call from a company, I said, “Yes, I can start the job tomorrow”. Now I think that my reaction shows the awful time I had.
Second, people do not know where and when their favorite job will be suggested. It may take one day to several years so people prefer to have a safe job instead of waiting for their desire. Researchers state that in one company with a hundred people, just ten of them satisfy their jobs and others prefer to be in another position. It can be a thoughtful issue that should be noticed. Besides, my personal experience may shed more light on this matter. One year ago, I found a job in a factory with enough payment but I always prefer to teach. After starting the work in the factory, I was thinking that I will quit from my job as soon as finding a desirable job, teaching opportunity. But I should confess that I do not find a favorite job yet!
In summary, with all this taken into account, people star their job as soon as an offer is suggested as a safe position. Lake of any occupation can be annoying for people so it may be a cause of accepting the first offer. In addition, people do not know when the desired job will come So, they think that their wishes are far-fetched and do not wait for their dreams.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Occupation is an inseparable part of hum...
^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. First of all, when people do not have a ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y reaction shows the awful time I had. Second, people do not know where and whe...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that I do not find a favorite job yet! In summary, with all this taken into acc...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, first, if, may, second, so, while, for instance, i think, in addition, in summary, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2038.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.37339055794 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43731861295 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474248927039 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 643.5 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.4911887251 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.9166666667 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4166666667 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.54166666667 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297493361568 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100502118481 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.063019901117 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214616193718 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0290659370817 0.0645574589148 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.07 10.9000537634 74% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.