TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex
Satisfaction is the main factor that pushes people beyond their limits. Even though there is some controversial question on whether people should take the secure job whatever happens or wait until they find a more satisfying job, I think it is far better to find a work that appeals a person more than the security of it. Because only the passion and the hope can drive the person to success.
To begin with, the capability of work will grow considerably when people really do the job from the bottom of their hearth. So, I think the job without any satisfaction will not that effective and beneficial for both the institution that the person works and for an individual to develop. Also, because the enjoyment provides the person with much energy and confidence to overcome all the pressure they had, it will encourage them to take risks and also taught them a lot of crucial lessons on what they do. For example, one of the YouTubers who graduated from Berkeley by chemical engineering, now choose to works as a makeup artist and also succeeded. She said in one of her Vlogs, she has a chance to work by her major in a popular company that is a secure job, but she decided to follow her passion to get an enjoyment from what she does every day. Moreover, her passion and hard work brought joy and success to her.
Furthermore, the health of every people directly related what they do every day, their work. Also, scientists proved that if people could not get enough enjoyment from their work, their average age is below the others who get a lot of satisfaction from their work. So, even though the secure job can give people adequate money to spend the rest of their life, it steals their time to feel happiness. Take a look at my sister as an example. She is rich but she has no time to spend with her children which causes her daughter to leave and live by her own at the age of sixteen. It is really a nightmare for my sister and feels like it is all the fault of her daughter. However, if you think about it carefully, it is because my sister did not give happiness to her daughter, she only provides her with the material thing, money.
All in all, because life depends on happiness and enjoyment, money is not a big deal to spend the whole time to earn it. So, I could confidently say that the satisfaction from the job is the vital element of life.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 610, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'work'.
Suggestion: work
... by chemical engineering, now choose to works as a makeup artist and also succeeded. ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, moreover, really, so, for example, i think, in fact, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1939.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 433.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.47806004619 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40608748173 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480369515012 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.9 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.0008978602 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.722222222 100.406767564 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0555555556 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05555555556 5.45110844103 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166889422844 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538515081673 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0525778646087 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110526133082 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.058240175189 0.0645574589148 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.0 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.