1. In 1992, many farmers in Jalikistan began using a hormone designed to produce larger cows that would produce more milk. Since then, childhood obesity in Jalikistan has grown by 200 percent. The amount of milk and dairy consumed by children in this area has not increased or decreased. Children in the same area who are lactose intolerant, and who drink almond milk or soy milk, have not had the same increase in childhood obesity. The only clear explanation is that the introduction of the hormone is responsible for the increase in childhood obesity in that area.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more viable alternatives to the proposed explanation. Justify, with support, why the alternatives could rival the proposed explanation and explain how those explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author argues that the introduction of the designed hormone in order to increase the productivity of milk from cow cause the increment in childhood obesity in in Jalikistan. The evidences such as the statistics of the growth of it since the advent of hormone during constant consumption of milk of children and the results of the attendee of experiments on almond milk or soy milk presented in this argument seems to be enough for the conclusion. however, there are factors the author failed to clarify to strengthene inference.
First, the author further assumes the reasons for rise of trend of childhood obesity fundamentally led from the moment when many farmers began to use a hormone because the timing of both accidents are coincidence. Speaking of the factors related being fats, the author should consider the children's ingestion or products containing much of fats. For example, the rise of eating chocolate or meats will cause the same results.
In addition, the author fails to clarify the reliable sources to conclude specific number of 200 percent to describe the importance of childhood obesity. In general point of view, it must be approximately rounded in number and the details in survey such as the number of samples, the standard deviation will be required to support his position. if the range of attendee to reach the output is specified to special groups or to inference the pretended data, then the author should pretest the experiment again.
Furthermore, the main mistake he took is the constant consumption of naively designed milk. the method or strategy to measure to lead it must be explained to assist his argument. are they only check the number of goods regarding milk from the parents or children itself? the actual measurement can hardly be possible because children can drink the milk bought from adults, or they do not the thing he bought. even though the strategies are quite reasonable, the flaw must be in there to get the demographic statistics.
On the top of that, children who drink only the almond milk and the soy milk does not show the similar trend on the issue of obesity. But knowing and surveying exactly whether the children drink the hormone designed milk or not are not guaranteed. additional possible doubt is the falsifiable results of it. even if everybody answer without any lies, the possibility of other factors and simultaneous fortunate phenomena is hardly can be substantiated.
In conclusion, we have dealt with whether the key of increase of children obesity is because of hormone. The sources mentioned seems to be enough, however, if the above possibility has been considered, the author could be cited to convince the readers who believe the newly modified milk with new hormone are not the main reasons for the children obesity.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2295 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.925 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.669 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.146 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.67 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author argues that the introduction ...
^^
Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: in
...ause the increment in childhood obesity in in Jalikistan. The evidences such as the s...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 454, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
... seems to be enough for the conclusion. however, there are factors the author failed to...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 536, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed to clarify to strengthene inference. First, the author further assumes the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 429, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e or meats will cause the same results. In addition, the author fails to clari...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 348, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ll be required to support his position. if the range of attendee to reach the outp...
^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uld pretest the experiment again. Furthermore, the main mistake he took is...
^^
Line 13, column 95, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...t consumption of naively designed milk. the method or strategy to measure to lead i...
^^^
Line 13, column 182, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
...st be explained to assist his argument. are they only check the number of goods reg...
^^^
Line 13, column 274, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...lk from the parents or children itself? the actual measurement can hardly be possib...
^^^
Line 13, column 412, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...ts, or they do not the thing he bought. even though the strategies are quite reasona...
^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o get the demographic statistics. On the top of that, children who drink ...
^^
Line 17, column 22, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... statistics. On the top of that, children who drink only the almond milk ...
^^
Line 17, column 252, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Additional
...esigned milk or not are not guaranteed. additional possible doubt is the falsifiable resul...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 457, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...enomena is hardly can be substantiated. In conclusion, we have dealt with whet...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, regarding, so, then, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in general, speaking of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2370.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 466.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08583690987 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7440915279 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491416309013 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 728.1 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.5914304467 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.5 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219556473194 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0633683381797 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0673903203782 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113955223829 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0655757821996 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.