In 1992, many farmers in Jalikistan began using a hormone designed to produce larger cows that would produce more milk. Since then, childhood obesity in Jalikistan has grown by 200 percent. The amount of milk and dairy consumed by children in this area has not increased or decreased. Children in the same area who are lactose intolerant, and who drink almond milk or soy milk, have not had the same increase in childhood obesity. The only clear explanation is that the introduction of the hormone is responsible for the increase in childhood obesity in that area.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more viable alternatives to the proposed explanation. Justify, with support, why the alternatives could rival the proposed explanation and explain how those explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author states that, introduction in hormone used for producing larger cows to produce more milk increased the obesity of children in Jalikistan. The author made this conclusion based on the assumption that after introduction of hormones the obesity of children has increased by 200%. And also, children who cannot digest milk and who drinks almond and soya milk have not experienced this problem. However, the conclusion can only be evaluated by answering 2 questions.
First of all, does children who were observed to have increase in the obesity did drink the milk produced by large cows? It is possible that children might have other food habits which increase the fat rather than milk such as fast foods like burgers, pizzas etc. If the above mentioned is true then the argument is weakened.
Secondly, do children who drink almond and soya milk perform regular exercises and maintain their fitness? It is possible that children who are considered to be having increase in the obesity might not do exercises . Perhaps, children who drink almond milk might perform few physical activities which reduce the fat content in the body. If the above scenarios hold merit, then argument cannot hold water.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is flawed. If the author is able to answer the above mentioned questions then it is possible to evaluate the conclusion.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 215, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...se in the obesity might not do exercises . Perhaps, children who drink almond milk...
^^
Line 7, column 59, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... argument, as it stands now, is flawed. If the author is able to answer the above ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 55.5748502994 43% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1156.0 2260.96107784 51% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 227.0 441.139720559 51% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09251101322 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.88156143495 4.56307096286 85% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57001077252 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 123.0 204.123752495 60% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.541850220264 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 351.9 705.55239521 50% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.9322706857 57.8364921388 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.9230769231 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4615384615 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.92307692308 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.249114580844 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0906426083961 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10427264619 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145532207074 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110663010357 0.0628817314937 176% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 98.500998004 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 33.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 2.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.