“Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company’s sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company.”
A newsletter offered an advice to stockholders to sell their shares and investors not to purchase stocks from Old Dairy Company. The author recommended this because the company sales are likely to decline and profits made by the company will reduce. However, as more light is shed on issues and more detailed facts are concerned, lack of answers through an argument, leads me to question its validity.
First of all, Is the survey conducted genuine? In other words, did the survey consulted people who are already obese or were they lean? It might happen that people who responded to survey might be having obesity so they tend to choose food which has less fat. There is a possibility that the questions in the survey were designed in such a way that people tend to choose the option of less fat. If the above scenarios are true, then the argument is weakened.
Secondly, do people actually follow the option which they have chosen in the survey? Maybe people just submitted the easy based on what is a healthy food but do they really change? Perhaps, people are tend to take low fat food but they might take fat foods to once in a while. If the above assumptions are valid, then argument does not hold water.
Finally, do Old Dairy Industries does not produce any other products other than high in fat and cholesterol food? Maybe there are other products too which are sold highly by Old Dairy Industries. Perhaps, the revenue generated by the Old Dairy industries is not solely based on the fat products. If the above scenarios are merit, then the strength of the recommendation can be weakened.
In conclusion, the argument, as it is stands now, is flawed. However, if the author proved necessary evidence and can answer above questions, then the argument can be possibly evaluated.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1438 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.639 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.372 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.95 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 22, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'advice'.
Suggestion: advice
A newsletter offered an advice to stockholders to sell their shares an...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 355, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rios are merit, then the strength of the recommendation can be weakened. In ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, while, in conclusion, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1498.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 310.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83225806452 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19604776685 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4756062754 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.529032258065 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 468.9 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.7666644436 57.8364921388 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.2222222222 119.503703932 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2222222222 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.70786347227 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187566215342 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0553555375855 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0690171138212 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0927686180653 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069654937778 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.