1. The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
“Five years ago Fish Emporium Started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their store saw sales increase by 15% after their ads began appearing in the magazine. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf city saw an even greater increase than that . Because Top Dog Pet Stores is based in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again.
The author claims that the recent trends of declining sales in Top Dog Pet Stores in Gulf City will start making a profit again, if they begin placing advertisement in the magazine, Exotic Pets Monthly. I shall suggest ways to improve the reasoning so that the argument has some validity.
First of all, the argument assumes that placing the advertisement in the magazine is the only cause responsible for bringing about profit in sales of Top Dog Pet Stores. Factors like the ambience of the stores, the number of animal supplies, pet accessories, and a multitude of attractive pet products and so on might have been responsible for increasing sales. If the author had mentioned about all the other factors that were at play for the increasing profits, then the argument would have been convincing.
Secondly, the author assumes that the three Fish Emporium Stores in Gulf City will be exactly similar to the Top Dog Pet Stores. Although the stores are located in the same city, it doesn't mean that they will have similar shop structure or shop services. Had the author come to this conclusion after checking with both kinds of stores in terms of their shop layout, pricing, client services, the arguments could have made a point.
Thirdly, the author assumes that percentage of increase, i.e. 15% in sales 5 years ago in Fish Emporiums will remain same for Top Dog Pet Store at present also. The market conditions prevailing 5 years ago that led to the hike in sales of Fish Emporiums will not be same in the present time. If the author had provided us with information regarding the market conditions 5 years ago and market condition in the present time, then we could have compared the two and his argument could have been valid.
Hence, I conclude that the reasoning is faulty, as it presents Causal, Analogy and Percentage flaws. I believe that the argument would vastly improve if the author had given all the above details about the two different kinds of stores and interpreted his evidences and then concluded<span class="hiddenGrammarError" pre="then "></span> accordingly.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1687 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.752 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.308 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.809 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.68 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 183, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...stores are located in the same city, it doesnt mean that they will have similar shop s...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 309, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r come to this conclusion after checking with both kinds of stores in terms of th...
^^
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...n same for Top Dog Pet Store at present also. The market conditions prevailing 5 yea...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, first, hence, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1768.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03703703704 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11915722735 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492877492877 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 536.4 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.6903225393 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.0 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.271150160523 0.218282227539 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100486966737 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081032643835 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145307604207 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0494788994177 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.