8. "Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased. Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni."
In a memorandum from the president of Humana Univerdity, it is stated that last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet. On the contrary, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow over the past 3 years and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased. So in order to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, they plan to emulate and promote the online degrees like those at Omni. Before the argument is further analyzed, three questions have to answered.
Firstly, has there been a decrease in the expenditure for dormitory and classroom space from the prior years since the advent of online degree programs? The above comment has been stated by the author explicity and has no supporting evidence like statistics and surveys showcasing the fact that there has been a decrease in the expenditure at Omni University on starting to offer the online degree programs. So due to this, the initial conclusion in the above argument has been significantly weakened.
Secondly, has there been a decrease in the enrollment at Humana University over the past three years and due to this, has the cost of maintenance increase? There has been no supporting evidence in the form of statistics and surveys advocating the above author's argument that there has been a decrease in the enrollment at the university. And there might be a plethora of reasons why the cost of maintenance at Humana University has been increased over the past years with the decrease in enrollment not being the only conern. So without proper study into this due to a lack evidence such as surveys, the above argument does not hold water.
Thirdly, will the initiation of the online degree programs similar to those of Omni University increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University? The author's claim from the above lines is slightly vague. The author is trying to base an analogy between the two universities with respect to cutting funds for an increased expenditure without prior evidence such as surveys and statistics basing a similarirty between these two universities. With no proper information and supporting facts, the adaptation of the online degree programs at Humana from that of Omni might not hold firm.
In conclusion, as the author's argument has been more like a subjective claim and failed to provide proper evidence in the form of surveys and statistics, the author might not be right in his claim and the above argument does not hold firm.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2295 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.693 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.11 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 651, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...deficits at Humana University, they plan to emulate and promote the online degree...
^^
Line 9, column 254, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...istics and surveys advocating the above authors argument that there has been a decrease...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 23, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...t hold firm. In conclusion, as the authors argument has been more like a subjectiv...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in conclusion, such as, on the contrary, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2348.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 460.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10434782609 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75552718308 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.395652173913 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 755.1 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5195434944 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.117647059 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0588235294 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70588235294 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.400086275004 0.218282227539 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.147016372281 0.0743258471296 198% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.151710939266 0.0701772020484 216% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.229758893636 0.128457276422 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.181770181019 0.0628817314937 289% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.