98. The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
In this article, the author reccomends that Monarch Book store should open its own café and take over the space allocated to children’s books for making profits and win the competition, based on the evidence of national sensus data, installing action, and profit. While the author’s argument might hold ture in certain cases, a careful analysis reveals that it lacks solid evidence and is based on incomplete assumptions making the claim unconvincing without further examination.
The author assumes that data from national sensus indicating decline of number of children foreshadow declinling children’s books sale, however, cannot be easily supposed without additional evidence. Nationwide average might not be applicable to the specific region of Collegeville. For instance, if Collegeville is recently formed town so its members have demographics which indicated population under ten is plentiful, the sales on children’s books would not be overlooked, thus author’s argue would be incomplte. Threfore, further causal evidence is required, such as sensus held in Collegeville to verify exact number of children that would significantly affect sales of specific genre of books.
Similarly, installing café to win competition, also needs further evidence to verify. Café might not be the only dominating factor for winning competition. There could be other contributing factors. From author’s argument, Monarch books has survived for 20 years. In case of aging, and it has not been changed antediluvian moods since its opening, in contrast, Book and bean has recently opened with trendy, fancy, neat interiors, with specific fit genre-based recommandtion system, can also be one reason for losing competition. Thus, the author has to verify customer percentage using café and satisfied with service, and consider that is decisive factor that people prefer other book store.
Even if sucessfully installing book café, cost of action is not considred without further evidence. As said before, 20 years of fixed interior and arrangement would be hold lots of costs for making change. installing café, also needs budget to hiring new employer for making coffee, managing store, cleaning, et cetra. Therefore, the author has to verify if profits superior to costs, with precise calculation.
In sum, the argument is not wel supported and based on incomplete assumptions. In order to bolster it, the author must provide further evidence such as children population living in the Collegeville, influence of café to bookstore, and figure of cost versus profit.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 2105 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.37 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.747 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.74 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 207, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Installing
...e hold lots of costs for making change. installing café, also needs budget to hiring new e...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, similarly, so, therefore, thus, while, as to, for instance, in contrast, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2216.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.65306122449 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00760870473 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55612244898 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.9896254528 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.111111111 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7777777778 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.11111111111 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151713557045 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0471842364257 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0496341023027 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.086909658638 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0362846890544 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.49 12.5979740519 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.43 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.5 12.3882235529 165% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.