98. The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books."Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books

Essay topics:

98. The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."

According to the business manager of monarch books, the manager announced that monarch books will open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children’s books. because sale of children’s books are likely to decline and if monarch books open in-store café, it could bring a lot of profits. However, some specific proofs should be provided to better evaluate the argument.

The manager mention that Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children’s books are likely to decline. but this evidence does not hold water. Consequently more specific evidence should be afforded to check the validity of the argument. although the data show that the percentage of the population under age ten declines, no data show that in collegeville the percentage of the population under age ten declines. it is possible that in other space the percentage of the population under age ten declines, the percentage of the population under age ten, in the collegeville, increases.

What is more, the manager said that the reason why they wanted to open an in-store café is that book and been, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a store in collegeville. but the manager fails to offer any evidence to validate this crucial assumption. In this time, book and been does not open a store, and they only decided to open a store. So, monarch books does not have competitor. Even though the book and been open a store in collegeville, the costumers maybe do not decided to go to the book and been to buy drinks and books, because they are not familiar with this store. if monarch books open a in-store café, no one can deny the in-store café will make a noise in the book store, and the costumers will not have a friendly atmosphere, then they may not go to the monarch books to buy some books at all.

although the percentage of the population under age ten declines in the collegeville as well as the monarch books open the in-store café and the store does not make a noise, the monarch books maybe cannot increase profits. The manager said that the in-store café will bring profits is not convincing and there is not adequate evidence. The profits influenced by cost and incomes. if the coffee beans are very expensive and the people who live in collegeville do not like to drink coffee, the in-store café will not make the profits increase. if the people living in collegeville like drinking coffee, the manager of the in-store café will employ some persons. if the profits of the coffee are less than salary of the employees, the monarch books cannot increase profits.

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Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...ently devoted to children's books. because sale of children's books are likel...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ded to better evaluate the argument. The manager mention that Given recent na...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ren's books are likely to decline. but this evidence does not hold water. Cons...
^^^
Line 5, column 237, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
... but this evidence does not hold water. Consequently more specific evidence should be afford...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
... to check the validity of the argument. although the data show that the percentage of th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 507, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... the population under age ten declines. it is possible that in other space the per...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ten, in the collegeville, increases. What is more, the manager said that the ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 210, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ention to open a store in collegeville. but the manager fails to offer any evidence...
^^^
Line 9, column 619, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... they are not familiar with this store. if monarch books open a in-store café, no ...
^^
Line 9, column 641, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... with this store. if monarch books open a in-store café, no one can deny the in-s...
^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arch books to buy some books at all. although the percentage of the populatio...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...books to buy some books at all. although the percentage of the population under ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 381, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...profits influenced by cost and incomes. if the coffee beans are very expensive and...
^^
Line 13, column 543, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...afé will not make the profits increase. if the people living in collegeville like ...
^^
Line 13, column 661, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...in-store café will employ some persons. if the profits of the coffee are less than...
^^
Line 13, column 661, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...in-store café will employ some persons. if the profits of the coffee are less than...
^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...narch books cannot increase profits.
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, may, so, then, well, as well as, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2282.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95010845987 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70592225242 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.373101952278 0.468620217663 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 723.6 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.6170561806 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.1 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.05 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.85 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222270059208 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.081927648283 0.0743258471296 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0828256252534 0.0701772020484 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157834374389 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0895012267937 0.0628817314937 142% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2179 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.727 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 41.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 25.072 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.459 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.674 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5