An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia — the scent of lavender flowers — has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.
The scent of lavender is pleasant for sure but it is being endorsed here as a quick cure for insomnia. Certain statistics were shared regarding a closed study which was made to support the argument. However there seems to be several unanswered or perhaps unjustified claims and details regarding the study. If the below points were considered and their reason was explained that would have maybe made the argument compelling.
Firstly, it is stated that an ancient and traditional remedy for insomnia is the scent of lavender. Yet, there is no supporting details regarding to when was the ancient period referred to or even to which tradition is being considered. This statement would have made more sense if some for form of details like maybe ‘from the Indian tradition of 1800s’ something is found true. If the statement was written this was it would have added more weight to the argument.
Secondly, it seems like some study was probably done and some observations that were made during the study were presented. There are several aspects of the study that seems unwarranted and even questions the validity of the study. Primarily the study is conducted only with 30 volunteers which is a rather smaller group to study with for a claim this big. In addition to that it was also said the participants were using their sleep medication during the study at least for a period of a time so it cannot be sure if their sound sleep was due to their medication or to the scent. Because of this, it effectively brings down the study to just two weeks. In that said two weeks when the sleep medication was stopped it was said the participants slept less soundly when the medication was not used. This claim it self bring the concern to ask the question of what are the effects of the controlled environment on the volunteers.
Finally, lack of details on the environment and the day to day tasks of the volunteers do not add to the arguments gain. As it was said in the by the third week they were able to get some sleep for longer duration it remains unclear if that was due to the volunteers being kept in dark rooms with out any activities or something else.
The study would have been more meaningful and complete if the above concerns were addressed and perhaps even if the study was done in the volunteers usual daily routines and homes. Then the argument would have be more appealing and convincing to the readers.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 1961 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.603 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.464 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.35 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 200, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...which was made to support the argument. However there seems to be several unanswered or...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tion of 1800s’ something is found true. If the statement was written this was it w...
^^
Line 5, column 808, Rule ID: IT_SELF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'itself'?
Suggestion: itself
...the medication was not used. This claim it self bring the concern to ask the question o...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 837, Rule ID: ASK_THE_QUESTION[1]
Message: Use simply 'ask' instead.
Suggestion: ask
...This claim it self bring the concern to ask the question of what are the effects of the controll...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...the volunteers being kept in dark rooms with out any activities or something else. Th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 211, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...and homes. Then the argument would have be more appealing and convincing to the re...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, at least, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2007.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71126760563 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52017471817 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453051643192 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.1858563066 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.631578947 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4210526316 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.36842105263 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211926062918 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0741049264444 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0889919917975 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116323631728 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0387634880132 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 48.3550499002 137% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.