Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
The writer of these analytical piece has drawn an optimistic conclusion, from disjointed and incomplete data that decline in deer population is the result of global warming which causes the sea ice to melt and unable the deer to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Here the report says that arctic deer live on the island in Canada's arctic regions. They search for their food over ice from island to island during the course of the year. They generally prefer the area for living that is warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough to live. Here author refers to the survey of local hunters to strengthen his argument. But this argument contains many flaws.
Firstly, argument relates the local hunters' survey with the effects of global warming. Author has not provided any other information that relates both to each other. It may be possible that hunters have shot the large part of the deer over the years. Also, the number of hunters in a particular area has increased. Moreover, the rate of increase in the population of deer is comparatively less than that of the population of hunters. So, the author can not directly jump to the conclusion which he has drawn.
Secondly, the report says that according to the survey of local hunters, the deer population is declined. But the integrity and truthfulness of the survey is questionable. It might be possible that the deer are migrated to some other place to save their lives. Also, they might have migrated to sustain themselves where the probability of getting food is high.
Thirdly, the report says that the plants on which the deer are dependent for their food grow in the areas which provide a sufficiently warm environment and arctic deer prefers cold environment. It can be possible that the area in which they live is very cold and which are not suitable for the plants to grow. Also, it may be possible that the areas in which the plants grow are not that much cooler to sustain for arctic deer. So, in both the cases, the scarcity of food for deer plays an important role in the decline of deer's population.
In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing in its stand. To strengthen it the author must provide some more information that relates both the local hunters' survey and side effects of global warming. Also, the author should provide some more evidence that strengthens his argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1953 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.706 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.406 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.043 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.63 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 435, Rule ID: DURING_THE_COURSE_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'during'.
Suggestion: during
...eir food over ice from island to island during the course of the year. They generally prefer the are...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ding to the survey of local hunters, the deer population is declined. But the int...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2032.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 415.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89638554217 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47335752768 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.41686746988 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.9218237704 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.347826087 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0434782609 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.30434782609 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.388754208653 0.218282227539 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106713166046 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.150279076793 0.0701772020484 214% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197036606817 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.203874695443 0.0628817314937 324% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.84 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.