Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
The author here argues that the decline in deer population coinciding with global warming reports is enough evidence to conclude that deer have been unable to follow their customary migration patterns.
Firstly, the author provides no evidence to suggest that these plants are the primary source of nutrition for deer. If there are indeed other alternatives to these plants, the author’s claim that deer migrate in search of these plants will also come under question. If the author were to shed more light on this point and maybe show evidence that recent changes in the climate due to global warming have drastically reduced the flora in this region which is adversely affecting the deer, the argument would be strengthened.
Secondly, there might be other factors at play which are affecting the deer population in such an adverse manner. Evidence suggesting an increased presence of predators on these islands would drastically weaken the author’s argument.
Thirdly, how reliable is the information obtained from local hunters? These hunters might not be experts in identifying changes in age-old migration patterns of deer and might have misidentified crucial details. Also, the hunters might be regularly visiting only a few islands in their vicinity, and the deer may be flocked on some other faraway island leading to a wrong observation that deer population has decreased. Another possibility is that the hunters are trying to cover up their heinous exploitation of these deer by purporting bogus stories about global warming leading to a reduction in the deer population.
In conclusion, more evidence about the plants being the deer’s primary source of food and investigation of the hunters’ claims would strengthen the author’s argument that global warming has affected the deer’s population resulting in their inability to follow their migration patterns.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1552 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.279 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.428 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.427 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.691 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1620.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 294.0 441.139720559 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.51020408163 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85162246089 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.530612244898 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 494.1 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.4916573404 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.272727273 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7272727273 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147760722898 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0633530921409 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0323129879293 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.088836418162 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0161370353144 0.0628817314937 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.33 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.