The city council of Smithville has instituted changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes require that the town hire more police officers, budget more funds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol s

Essay topics: The city council of Smithville has instituted changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes require that the town hire more police officers, budget more funds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. These improvements in visibility will significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer.

ZahraT's picture

The argument that by improving Smithville's police force, the city's crime rate will decrease and the citizens feel safer may seem logical at first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that would be correct if its premises were true. However, her conclusion relies on assumptions for which there are no solid evidence.

First of all, the argument supposes that the visibility of the police force is weak, so the town can improve it by applying some changes, but there is no clear evidence to show this assumption is true and police office suffers from the problem. For instance, might be the problem is corruption in the some of police officers and they help criminals instead of innocent people. Also, the writer doesn't define the essential factors of powerful visibility for a successful police force to compare strongly with the city's police force and prove its shaky visibility.

In addition, the argument says that for achieving the lower crime rate goal and better the police force visibility, the town should hire more police officers, budget more founds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol more often on foot rather than from their patrol cars. First, the author doesn't provide any background that whether these changes are helpful or not. For example, is there other city with similar the crime rate that reduces its crime rate by applying these changes and plans? Moreover, the argument supposed the police force suffers from police officers dearth or low budget, without showing any evidence about it. Might be the police force's problems is lake of technology such as high quality computers for detecting criminals or poor performance police officers.

Last but not least, the writer assumes that more and better police force means lower crime rate. However, many safe countries with lowest crime rate such as Switzerland is not just depends on powerful police force to keep their people safe and keep the crime rate as low as possible. It's necessary to find the main factors of high crime rate and then solve it with best possible solution. The author would make more solid and convincing argument by talking about clear evidence of high crime rate in the town and its main reasons.

In conclusion, the writer would not necessary be wrong to assert that by improving the town's police force, the high crime rate would alleviate and people feel safer. However, the argument suffers from dearth of solid evidence and assumptions to persuade these changes and solutions are effective and necessary for the citizens safety.

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might be the problem is corruption
maybe the problem is corruption

Sentence: For example, is there other city with similar the crime rate that reduces its crime rate by applying these changes and plans?
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to similar and the

Might be the police force
Maybe the police force

or poor performance police officers.
or poor performance of police officers.

as Switzerland is not just depends on powerful police force
as Switzerland does not just depend on powerful police force

solve it with best possible solution
solve it with the best possible solution

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2094 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.915 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.27 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.059 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.032 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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