"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
While the proposal of protecting beaches and buildings in Tria island has its merits in certain ways, the argument developed in short of solid evidence. even if replenishing the sand may be an approach to further improvements of the island's tourist industry, the letter is replete with holes and assumptions, thus the proposal may not be carried out.
In considering the solution to stop the erosion of beach sand, the author came up with the idea of charging people for using the beach to raise money that can be used to replenish the sand. this could be a bad idea. it is possible that the beach is short of tourist already, and extra fee for visiting would attribute to a further decline of visitors. Besides, there are plenty other ways to earn money from the beach, like opening a gift shop, or water sports equipment shop, etc. charging for using the beach is only one of them, and probably not the best one. even if money can be raised in this way, we can not know for sure that they are used for the beach preservation. Maybe the administer of the beach would use the money for private use. To illustrate the necessity of this policy, evidence should be provided to cover the remaining questions of mentioned aspects.
To show that replenishing sand can protect the buildings, the writer revealed that nearby island of Batia did so. this fact, however, lends no support to the proposal. With no evidence showing that the island of Batia resembles the island of Tria, it is reckless to simply imitate the resolution Batia had taken. Batia could have a bad climate with lots of severe storm around the year which Bria island has never seen, and protecting the separate islands with the same means could have a bad outcome. even if the two islands liken to each other, the effect of the approach in <b>B</b>atia island could be useless, thus the fact would be tenuous to be used to reinforce the proposal. therefore, before making the recommendation, islands should be compared for similarities and contrast for differences, and how is the Batia island doing now should be fully analyzed as well.
building upon the implication that the erosion is a serious threat to the tourist industry of Tria island, the author suggests that preservation of the buildings and beaches in the area would result in an improvement in tourist industry in the long run. if the erosion is the most decisive factor here, this may be true. But we can not know. what if the scenery here is not marvelous enough to attract tourists to spend their time to visit? what if the island is suffering from some pollution and need to improve the quality of beach to begin with? which aspect should we expect to see the improvement is also not clearly conveyed. it could be indicating the population of visitors, or referring to the profit Tria island earned over the year, or considering the quality of service the island could be providing. The author could corroborate the letter with detailed descriptions of Tria island.
In sum, the argument is logically flawed and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To better evaluate the argument, we would need to know alternative ways to make money for the protection of the beaches and buildings, a comparison between Batia island and Tria island, and further description of the condition in Tria island.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 578 350
No. of Characters: 2687 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.903 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.649 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.52 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 41.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.687 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.613 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 154, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...t developed in short of solid evidence. even if replenishing the sand may be an appr...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e proposal may not be carried out. In considering the solution to stop the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 191, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...that can be used to replenish the sand. this could be a bad idea. it is possible tha...
^^^^
Line 9, column 217, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ish the sand. this could be a bad idea. it is possible that the beach is short of ...
^^
Line 9, column 564, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...of them, and probably not the best one. even if money can be raised in this way, we ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 683, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... used for the beach preservation. Maybe the administer of the beach would use the money for pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng questions of mentioned aspects. To show that replenishing sand can prote...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 503, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...he same means could have a bad outcome. even if the two islands liken to each other,...
^^^^
Line 17, column 685, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...s to be used to reinforce the proposal. therefore, before making the recommendation, isla...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... should be fully analyzed as well. building upon the implication that the e...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Building
... be fully analyzed as well. building upon the implication that the erosion i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 255, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...nt in tourist industry in the long run. if the erosion is the most decisive factor...
^^
Line 25, column 343, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
... this may be true. But we can not know. what if the scenery here is not marvelous en...
^^^^
Line 25, column 442, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
... tourists to spend their time to visit? what if the island is suffering from some po...
^^^^
Line 25, column 550, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Which
...ove the quality of beach to begin with? which aspect should we expect to see the impr...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 550, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ove the quality of beach to begin with? which aspect should we expect to see the impr...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 633, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...provement is also not clearly conveyed. it could be indicating the population of v...
^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ailed descriptions of Tria island. In sum, the argument is logically flawed...
^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 217, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...protection of the beaches and buildings, a comparison between Batia island and Tr...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, while, in short, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 55.5748502994 144% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2794.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 575.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85913043478 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89685180668 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59499824258 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 268.0 204.123752495 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466086956522 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 850.5 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.01973684 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.461538462 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1153846154 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.65384615385 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.321002679843 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0909190736188 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0532168527275 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188397287652 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.033423718254 0.0628817314937 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.