The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.
"For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author of the article claims that few Grandview city commissioners are considering retraction of subsequent year's funding for the Grandview Symphony as they believe it can sustain on its own. The basis of their decision being multifold escalation of private contributions as well as attendance at one of the events. As plausible as their contention might seem, it rests on shaky assumptions.
The officials assume that a 200% increase in the private contributions would be sufficient to organize and manage the symphony. However, it would be imprudent to arrive at such a statement without comparing the total funding and total expenditure. Moreover, what do we know about the actual amount received through private contributions? It might range from $1 to $1 million, 200% of which amounts to, $2 and $2 million, respectively. We just do not know. It is imperative to carry out a cost analysis by inputting actual numbers rather than talking about percentages. It would give the officials a better idea of how things would pan out if they remove their contribution.
Another assumption that the officials make is that last year's two-fold boosted attendance at one of the symphony's events would replicate in the coming year, strengthening their claim. However, this assumption remains hollow as we do not know how many people attended the event as well as the number of people who would be coming next year. For example, doubling an attendance of 2 people would not result in a significant boost. Moreover, we cannot predict next year's attendance based on previous year's numbers. Furthermore, we cannot ascribe this increase in attendance alone, to the symphony. Perhaps it was the visit of an eminent personality that garnered so much attention. Gathering deeper knowledge about the actual increase in attendance as well as to why it happened might place the officials on a strong footing.
Finally, the commissioners assume that even though there has been an increase in the ticket price, the symphony would experience a considerable footfall, next year, rendering it to be self-reliant. Nevertheless, this assumption fails to drive its point home. There are no hard numbers to assess the increase in the ticket prices. The original price as well as the increased price have not been mentioned in order to facilitate a comparison between them. Given the aforementioned numbers, the commissioners would easily be able to judge whether the price set was reasonable or not, which in turn would ultimately decide the attendance next year.
In view of the above, the decision of the commissioners to stop funding the symphony next year was bereft of sound assumptions. It would be of great help to the commissioners to base their decision on a number driven approach.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, but argument 1 and argument 2 should be put together to argue:
Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled.
argument 3 -- OK, but need two arguments:
1. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year.
2. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2268 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.018 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.923 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.968 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 358, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ivate contributions? It might range from to million, 200% of which amounts to, ...
^^
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e contributions? It might range from to million, 200% of which amounts to, and ...
^^
Line 3, column 364, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a million'.
Suggestion: a million
...contributions? It might range from to million, 200% of which amounts to, and millio...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 398, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to million, 200% of which amounts to, and million, respectively. We just do n...
^^
Line 3, column 403, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... million, 200% of which amounts to, and million, respectively. We just do not kn...
^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a million'.
Suggestion: a million
...illion, 200% of which amounts to, and million, respectively. We just do not know. It ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 463, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...boost. Moreover, we cannot predict next years attendance based on previous years numb...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 498, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...next years attendance based on previous years numbers. Furthermore, we cannot ascribe...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, then, well, as to, for example, talking about, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2321.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 448.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18080357143 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98791061002 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504464285714 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 712.8 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.5293091682 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.7083333333 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.20833333333 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221404636159 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.057855071335 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0675761334792 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1242573567 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0681239564993 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.