The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current stan-
dards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of
Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken
when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline
in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of
computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made
citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on
fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely
the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the
argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and
what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author argues that the decline in fitness level in Corpora is due to a decline in economy. Although he offers an argument which seems to be convincing at first glance, it is necessary to explore several variables in order to accept his conclusion without doubt.
First, the author mentions what some medical experts have said; that is, only one quarter of Corpora’s citizens are in shape, whereas twenty years ago, one half people in Corpora were in fitness. The assumption of the author is that this piece of data indicates a reduction in the number of people who are in good physical shape. However, this may be not the case. Suppose that since twenty years ago, Corpora has expanded and its population has significantly increased. Twenty years ago there were 100 citizens in Corpora, 50 of which were in a good health condition. At the present time, there are 200 citizens in Corpora, 50 of which are in shape. This clearly means that the number of people who were in shape twenty years ago is exactly the same as the number of people who are in shape now.
However, for the sake of argument we can concede to the author that there has been a decline in level of fitness. The author excludes a putative explanation for this phenomenon given by some medical experts, according to which the diminishing of the number of people who are healthy is caused by the introduction of computers in Corpora. In order to do so, the author cites the fact that the level of fitness is the highest among people who own a computer. Here the assumption is that owning a computer does not prevent from practicing sports. However, this may be not the case. Maybe people intensively use computers most of day and this prevents them from having an active lifestyle.
The author offers his explanation: the decline in fitness is due to a negative economic trend. In particular, he argues that thanks to this development in economy people are not able to purchase fitness equipment or services. There are different assumptions. First, it is crucial to own certain fitness products to keep in shape. However, this may be false. It s possible that people in Corpora like jogging or taking simple walks. Second, the author assumes that the economic crisis causes a reduction in the number of fitness-related products that are sold. However, this may be not the case. Perhaps, people in Corpora have changed their trainings, which requires less equipment. Maybe they no longer buy sport equipment because they have discovered that it is low-quality material.
In conclusion, the author’s argument needs to be carefully examined before concluding that its thesis is convincing. First, the author should provide real figures about the number of people in shape twenty years ago and now, in order to determine whether there has been a real reduction in level of fitness. Second, it would be wiser to bolster the idea that people owning computers are those who are in a good physical condition. Finally, the author has to prove that fitness-related equipment is crucial for being in shape in Corpora.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 526 350
No. of Characters: 2489 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.789 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.732 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.521 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.138 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.324 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.517 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.454 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, whereas, as to, in conclusion, in particular
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 38.0 19.6327345309 194% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 27.0 13.6137724551 198% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 55.5748502994 140% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2572.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8897338403 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6520633167 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423954372624 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 820.8 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.7887045659 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.6896551724 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1379310345 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.10344827586 5.70786347227 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162999430232 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0447182856232 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0755388811215 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0920875254947 0.128457276422 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0897682890604 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.