The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora."Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

In this magazine excerpt, the author asserts that a decline in fitness level of Corpora's citizens has nothing to do with their computer usage. However, the author’s assertion is tenuous as it relies on several invalid.

The reading passage states that some citizens of Corpora have highest fitness levels even though they have highest computer ownership rate, so using computer is less related to citizens’ health level. In this assumption, the author implies that if someone owns a computer, they use it. However, this cannot be always true as people often buy something and never use it. Even though they bought a computer, they might not use it probably because they do not have enough time due to their work or they prefer to spend time doing another thing. Given that most people who own a computer tend to use it quite often in general, the assumption is still invalid. Although the author implies that highest computer ownership rate of the regions indicates citizens’ actual ownership of computer, yet the ownership rate can be high due to another factor. For example, if there are many computer shops in the regions, the shop owners have many new computers that no one use. It is not clear how the computer ownership rate is calculated, but if were the case, computer ownership can be high, while the citizen’s computer usage time is low. To support the passage's argument, citizens’ computer usage time should rather be considered to evaluate effects of using computer on health.

Besides, the author assumes that citizen's decreased consumption on health products and services is more plausible cause for their worsened health level than their computer usage. The assumption implies that people who cannot afford health products and services might have trouble maintaining their health in good shape. However, consuming fitness-related products do not always have critical effect on people’s health. No matter how do people put much money on health products and services, it is useless if they do not put their efforts on them. For example, if someone bought an expensive treadmill but never use it, he or she cannot expect any good health effect. Or if someone is taking a personal training program in order to lose weight but do not follow the trainer’s dietary instruction, she or he could not be skinnier. Even assuming that low expenditures on heatl-related products and services affected citizen’s health level in some degree, this does not prove that using computer has nothing to do with people’s health. Computer usage can still have effect on the citizens’ fitness level along with the economic status.

In conclusion, the author fails to provide enough supports for the argument that using computer does not cause the decline in people’s health level. Since the argument does not present reliable data on the causal relationship between citizens’ computer usage rate and their health status, it lacks logical reasoning and plausibility.

Votes
Average: 4.9 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 208, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun invalid seems to be countable; consider using: 'several invalids'.
Suggestion: several invalids
...;s assertion is tenuous as it relies on several invalid. The reading passage states that som...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 58, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'have the highest'.
Suggestion: have the highest
...ge states that some citizens of Corpora have highest fitness levels even though they have hi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 103, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'have the highest'.
Suggestion: have the highest
...highest fitness levels even though they have highest computer ownership rate, so using compu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1159, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'passages'' or 'passage's'?
Suggestion: passages'; passage's
...puter usage time is low. To support the passages argument, citizens' computer usage...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, however, if, so, still, while, another thing, for example, in conclusion, in general

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2544.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 484.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25619834711 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79499257084 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45041322314 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 788.4 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.6251712301 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.142857143 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0476190476 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196409716364 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0722789868176 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0510370964878 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139894490571 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00938984058077 0.0628817314937 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

flaws:
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:

Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 484 350
No. of Characters: 2423 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.69 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.006 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.443 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.028 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5