The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author’s argument that low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is the cause for the decrease in the fitness of the corpora’s citizens and fitness levels will improve when the econcomy does is flawed for various reasons. In the argument, the author not only compares unrelated statements, but also draws a strong conclusion based on vague and unwarranted statements.
First, the author concludes that the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is the cause for the decrease in the fitness of the corpora’s citizens without analysing the real reason for the drop. The assumption is that the real reason for the drop would not provide any information in analysing the situation which is incorrect. For example, if the reason for the drop is not related to the low expenditures on fitness-related products and services and it is due to a wide spread epidemic disease in the town, it is incorrect to conclude that the fitness levels of the citizens is directly related to the economic conditions and the fitness level will improve when the econcomy does. because the author does not provide any information which can confirm direct relation between the economic conditions and the fitness level, the author’s conclusion is invalid.
Second, the author concludes that spending too much time using computers does not cause any decline in fitness without any justification. This is a typical flaw of correlation is not causation. because the overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is incorrect to conclude that computers has not made citizens less physically fit. The assumption here is that higher fitness levels imply computers does not cause any decline to fitnes which is unjustified. For example, if the higher fitness levels are due to higher nutrition levels in their diet and not related to computers, it in not justified to conclude that computers does not pose any danger to the fitness. if the author had provided any information that can related computers to the fitness, it would be easy to conclude their relation to the fitness.
Third, the author draws a firm conclusion based on vague statements which is incorrect. while quoting the low expenditures of citizens on fitness-related products and services, the author does not statistically define the term low. For example, if the low expenditure means only a drop of one percent, it is unwise to conclude that the one percent decrease in expeditures on fitness-related products and services has caused about 25 percent decrease in the fitness level of the citizens. if the author had provided the exact statistical decrease in the expenditure of citizens on fitness, it would have been easy to justify the author’s firm conclusion.
Fourth, the author compares the present fitness data with the fitness data of 20 years ago which is irrelevant. The assumption is that the present fitness levels should be comparable to that of 20 years ago which is incorrect. For example, if the fitness levels of the citizens have decreased naturally over the period of time, it is unjustified to conclude that the present decline in the economy is the reason for the decrease in the fitness compared to that of 20 years ago. while comparing both the fitness datas, because the author does not provide any information on their relevance, it is unjustified to draw a conclusion out of the comparison
In conclusion, because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, the author fails to make a convincing case that low expenditures on fitness-related products and services is the cause for the decrease in the fitness of the corpora’s citizens and fitness levels will improve when the econcomy does.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. need to argue:
Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined.
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 614 350
No. of Characters: 3105 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.978 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.057 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.853 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 240 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 199 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 131 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.478 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.682 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 708, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...el will improve when the econcomy does. because the author does not provide any informa...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 195, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...l flaw of correlation is not causation. because the overall fitness levels are highest ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 737, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...oes not pose any danger to the fitness. if the author had provided any information...
^^
Line 10, column 89, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...on vague statements which is incorrect. while quoting the low expenditures of citizen...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 489, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...e in the fitness level of the citizens. if the author had provided the exact stati...
^^
Line 13, column 313, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...izens have decreased naturally over the period of time, it is unjustified to conclude that the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 479, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...tness compared to that of 20 years ago. while comparing both the fitness datas, becau...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, third, while, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3208.0 2260.96107784 142% => OK
No of words: 614.0 441.139720559 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22475570033 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.977853291 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01219109742 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.317589576547 0.468620217663 68% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1009.8 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.9362032473 57.8364921388 168% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.4 119.503703932 134% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7 23.324526521 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.095970326242 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0404604191265 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0325084065975 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0678008690917 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0103625302212 0.0628817314937 16% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.5 14.3799401198 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.59 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.