The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this arguement, a paradox has been presented about the increment rate of accident though more bycyclists are wearing helmet. The government is trying to resolve this paradox by imposing bycycle safety education over ecouraging to wear helmet. Many kinds of evidence full of fallacies are presented here to support his arguement. These fallacies however kept us in an ambivalent state from where we cannot aggree with the the claim of the government. To present these loopholes in this claim three reasons are described here.
First of all, it is said here that ten years ago 35 percent of bycyclists were reported to wear helmet. After ten year, though the percentage of bycyclists have risen, the percentage of accident has risen also. With subconcious mind , it comes first that the rate of accident should have been decreased. The lacking that the govenrment cannot catch the number of bycyclists increase in those years. Here, no data has been shown, how many number of cyclists were then and now. Meybe the number of bycyclits then were few. By only percentage measuremnt we cannot come into direct conclusion that awareness of wearing helmet have not come to use decreasing accidents.
Secondly, by measuring the rate of accidents we cannot indifferently say that rule of imposing wearing helmet didnot come to any use. The rate of accident is not described briefly here. These accidents may vary state to state. The state where traffic rules and regulations are not maintained properly, accidents rate can be more there. Again it is said here that by wearing helmets bycyclists feel confident to take risk. And by doing so they fell into accident. But there is no evidence showed here to support this claim. TO support this claim data or any survey must be presented. If the statement is true, then also you cannot make any coclusion to say this.
Thirdly, to resolve this paradox the govenrment is trying to concentrate on education bycycle safety rather than encouraging to wear helmet. There is no solid reason behind taking this step. Again, only this solution is not enough to resolve this problem. There are many steps that can be taken to decrease the percentage rate of accident. Strict traffic rule can be imposed. Cycle lane can be introduced to the city people. BY using only that lane they can stay far from large vehicles. Only educationg the bycycle safety will not bring any fruitful solution.
In conclusion, the arguement as it stands now is considerably flawed due to its reliance on certain assumptions. If the author is able to show the evidence behind those reasons stated above, then it will be possible to fully evaluate the validity of the governments process behind decreasing the rate of accident.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2226 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.86 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.774 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.484 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.252 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.436 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 421, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... state from where we cannot aggree with the the claim of the government. To present the...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 421, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... state from where we cannot aggree with the the claim of the government. To present the...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...n, the percentage of accident has risen also. With subconcious mind , it comes first...
^^^^
Line 3, column 234, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nt has risen also. With subconcious mind , it comes first that the rate of acciden...
^^
Line 3, column 435, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun number seems to be countable; consider using: 'many numbers'.
Suggestion: many numbers
...ears. Here, no data has been shown, how many number of cyclists were then and now. Meybe th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...annot make any coclusion to say this. Thirdly, to resolve this paradox the gov...
^^^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'wearing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: wearing
... bycycle safety rather than encouraging to wear helmet. There is no solid reason behind...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... will not bring any fruitful solution. In conclusion, the arguement as it stand...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2298.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 458.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01746724891 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58145940806 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491266375546 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.1352675463 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.1290322581 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7741935484 23.324526521 63% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.74193548387 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.14438934724 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0386085730112 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0805953213602 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.077778430906 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0745979439893 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.197005988 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.24 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.