The following appeared in the Health section of the Greenhorne Gazette:
“Motilac is a substance that occurs naturally in the human digestive tract. Many
consumers of dietary supplements containing motilac report significant easing of digestive
discomfort after just a few weeks of use. Among Greenhorne residents, the consumption
of motilac supplements has increased 80% over the last seven years. Last year,
Greenhorne’s five hospitals reported fewer cases of serious gastrointestinal disorders than
any year on record. Meanwhile, sales of motilac supplements are declining in the
neighboring town of Etolin. Notably, hospitals in Etolin report a steady increase in the last
two years in patients experiencing a wide range of distressing gastrointestinal symptoms.
The clear explanation of these trends is that motilac is effective in preventing many
serious gastrointestinal disorders."
The author asserts that motilac is able to prevent human from gastrointestinal disorders. Although the passage contains evidence, aiming to supports the claim, these evidence can not use in consideration due to the logical flaws and unclear relationship between the evidence to the argument of the author.
First and foremost, the author attempts to conviced the reader that motilac is effective by showing that there are many consumers who reported to have a better condition in digestive discomfort after consuming dietary supplements with notilac. The argument is logically flawed. We can't assumes that the motilac is effective just because there are people reporting that there illness dissapear due to the supplements. As we don't know what else is contained in the supplements, it might have been other substance which also occur in the supplments. This shows the author's confusion between correlation and causation. Just because two events co-occur does not always mean that they are related. The passage would have been more sound if the author had provided more reasons on how motilac is actually improving digestive conditions.
Second, the author also states that Greenhorne residents experienced fewer cases of gastrointestinal disorders last year after eight years of increasing of motilac supplements by 80%. Similar to the previous point, the author assumes that as the two events occured together, fewer disorders must have been caused by increased in motilac usage. This also, is logically incorrect. In addition,the author does not specify enough data on how the data was collected. How many hospitals are there in Greenhorne? If there are more than 100 hospitals, and only 5 of the hospitals were experiencing decreased number of cases with the disorders, then the assumption that motilac supplement must have been the caused is incorrect.
Similarly, the author linkage of steady increase in the number of patients with gastrointestinal symptoms in Etolin with the decreased in sales of motilac is also flawed. A intuitive counter example is that there might be third part event that caused the two events to happens. For instance, Etolin town might not have good economy in the past two years, leading to reduce in the supplement. In addition, hospitals can not afford to buy better equipment. Etolin town would still encountered an increase in number of patients and decreased in sale, but the decline motilac itself is not the caused.
While the author is trying to prove that motilac is the key to prevent serious gastrointestinal disorders, the author failed to give enough evidence for the reader to conclude the same. The author first states that many people who consumes motilac supplements report to become better, but did not go further into the details fo the report. Next, he shows past data from two cities, hoping to show a inverse relationship between the usafe of motilac substance and number of cases with gastrointestinal disorders. Nevertheless, the data from these cities can't be use to concludes that motilac is effective as the inverse relationship might be due to external factors.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2579 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.137 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.763 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 202 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.233 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 141, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'support'.
Suggestion: support
...he passage contains evidence, aiming to supports the claim, these evidence can not use i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 282, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...c. The argument is logically flawed. We cant assumes that the motilac is effective j...
^^^^
Line 4, column 424, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...dissapear due to the supplements. As we dont know what else is contained in the supp...
^^^^
Line 4, column 563, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...occur in the supplments. This shows the authors confusion between correlation and causa...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 391, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...lso, is logically incorrect. In addition,the author does not specify enough data on ...
^^^^
Line 12, column 172, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'An' instead of 'A' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: An
...sed in sales of motilac is also flawed. A intuitive counter example is that there...
^
Line 12, column 480, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'encounter'
Suggestion: encounter
...tter equipment. Etolin town would still encountered an increase in number of patients and d...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 16, column 261, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'report becoming'.
Suggestion: report becoming
...people who consumes motilac supplements report to become better, but did not go further into the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 16, column 398, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...st data from two cities, hoping to show a inverse relationship between the usafe ...
^
Line 16, column 554, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...evertheless, the data from these cities cant be use to concludes that motilac is eff...
^^^^
Line 16, column 562, Rule ID: BE_USE_TO_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...ess, the data from these cities cant be use to concludes that motilac is effective ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, nevertheless, second, similarly, so, still, then, third, while, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2652.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 500.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.304 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72870804502 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85699142456 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 824.4 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.9813188306 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.5 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8333333333 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.04166666667 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183965516417 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0529800547493 0.0743258471296 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0412664873503 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107596187017 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0390181277183 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 98.500998004 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.