The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth- league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
According to the letter to the editor of the parkville Daily newspaper, the author recommends that parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine, since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages. To buttress his argument, the author cites the following evidences: first, over 40000 young players suffered injuries; second, recent interview results show that youth-league soccer players in some major cities reported psychological pressuress; finally, long practive sessions for sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Although it might be true that discontinuing organized athletic competition for kids under nine has considerable benefit, we cannot fully evaluate this argument due to several unaddressed or unstated assumptions.
To begin with, the assumption that 40000 participates suffered injuries is not convincing. The author fails to provide the number of total young players in these sports and severity of individual injury. if a most players got serious injuries, then sports might be dangerious and vulnerable to most. However, if 40000 only account for small proportion of total players and most of those injuries are minor, then it might not be realistic to advocate the dangers of sports. In addition, we should also be informed about ages of those participates. it is likely that most of those injuries are unfamiliar with sports, so that establishing educational sports programs for the youth aged under nine might be more helpful than discontinuing such activies.
Moreover, the author assumes that interview-based survey lays a solid foundation for supporting his argument. Nonetheless, such assumption might not be valid when we think thoroughly. lots of questons and details about the survey remain unexamined. how many players participated in such survey? Where did the survey conduct? what are the detailed survey procedures? Without providing more information about the survey, we are unlikely to gain full idea of such recommendation. For example, if most participants in the survey came from cities other than parkville, then opinions from them may not be persuasive evidences for guiding policies in parkville. what's more, the survey only concerned soccer player, but how about players in other sports? it is also likely that the author fails to mention about goodness talked by players. they might spend a lot of time discussing about who they love and enjor sports, while only briefly mentioned about their concerns. In this case, disproportionate citing results from the survey might lead to bias. those psychological pressure might not be a big problems, given joy and delight in playing sports.
last but not least, the author's assumption that disadvantages outweigh any advantages for athletic competition, thereby discontinuing such competition is ungrounded. Specifically, the author cites from education experts, saying that long pratice session reduces study time on academics dramatically. On the contrary, study time is not directly related to study quality and the final academic outcome. In all likelihood, those youth players got a good balance between sports and schoolwork and taking part in sports would improve their study efficiency greatly. Therefore, they are able to achieve similar or even better grades in lesser time due to enhanced efficiency. Furthermore, the author does not mention other benefits brought by athletic competition. For instance, competitive spirit instilled would motivate students to study harder and persist on their goals, realizing true learning. Frequent sports also contribute positively to one's wellness and health conditions. Hence, it might not be valid to simply conclude that disadvantages exceed advantages largly.
To sum up, as it stands, the suggestion in this letter is relied on several unstated or problematic assumptions. To further strengthen this argument, the author ought to provide more evidences as follows: first, detailed information about injuries in youth-league sports; second, convincing supports to recent survey; last, comprehensive analysis of every advantage and disadvantage.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not exactly. better to ask: among '40,000 of these young players suffered injuries', how many of ' children below the age of nine'?
argument 2 -- not exactly. this survey is only for 'major cities'
argument 3 -- need to argue:
Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 623 350
No. of Characters: 3445 1500
No. of Different Words: 309 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.53 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.872 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 273 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 206 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 155 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 95 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.958 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.173 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.708 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 795, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...al unaddressed or unstated assumptions. To begin with, the assumption that 40000...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 205, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...orts and severity of individual injury. if a most players got serious injuries, th...
^^
Line 3, column 548, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ormed about ages of those participates. it is likely that most of those injuries a...
^^
Line 3, column 752, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lpful than discontinuing such activies. Moreover, the author assumes that interv...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Lots
... not be valid when we think thoroughly. lots of questons and details about the surve...
^^^^
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...ils about the survey remain unexamined. how many players participated in such surve...
^^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...h survey? Where did the survey conduct? what are the detailed survey procedures? Wit...
^^^^
Line 5, column 656, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whats
...nces for guiding policies in parkville. whats more, the survey only concerned soccer ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 656, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: what's
...nces for guiding policies in parkville. whats more, the survey only concerned soccer ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 749, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...but how about players in other sports? it is also likely that the author fails to...
^^
Line 5, column 834, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ntion about goodness talked by players. they might spend a lot of time discussing ab...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1047, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Those
...lts from the survey might lead to bias. those psychological pressure might not be a b...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1095, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'problem'?
Suggestion: problem
...ychological pressure might not be a big problems, given joy and delight in playing sport...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
... and delight in playing sports. last but not least, the authors assumption t...
^^^^
Line 9, column 25, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...sports. last but not least, the authors assumption that disadvantages outweigh ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 942, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...nt sports also contribute positively to ones wellness and health conditions. Hence, ...
^^^^
Line 12, column 385, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is of every advantage and disadvantage.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, second, so, still, then, therefore, well, while, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, on the contrary, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3545.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 623.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.69020866774 5.12650576532 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99599519102 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98401727839 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 330.0 204.123752495 162% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529695024077 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 1075.5 705.55239521 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.22255489022 284% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 19.7664670659 167% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 67.1723384189 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.424242424 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8787878788 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15151515152 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154830772883 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.03576153305 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0453264914753 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0949507292309 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0492150752414 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.72 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 182.0 98.500998004 185% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 21.0 12.3882235529 170% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.