The following appeared in a letter from the faculty committee to the president of Seatown University:
A study conducted at nearby Oceania University showed that faculty retention is higher when professors are offered free tuition at the university for their own college-aged children. Therefore, Seatown should institute a free-tuition policy for its professors for the purpose of enhancing morale among the faculty and luring new professors.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of the letter to the president of seatown university states emphasized the point that complimentary college-level education services to the professors perhaps increase the faculty retention and encourage those with children. The evidences for his stance such as the statistics of relationships between the periods of working professors for the extend of free tuition. I partially disagree with this opinion. In this essay, I firstly additionally support the committee's assertion briefly and describe the details of why I do not agree with the efficiency of attracting faculty with the free tuition fee.
Admittedly, the free tuition fee will be the attractive keys for the faculty with various reasons. The salary for the professors are not substantially high, so the money might be significant factors to make a decision about the university of their children. even though other factors such as publicity, quality of education, location will take large portion of determination, the degree of the predilection varies on the wide ranges, thus some faculty might prefer to choose seatown university if the tuition fee will be eventually decreased rather than current fee.
The major problems he excessively assumes is the priority of university for the students are quiet ordered even with the parameters of tuition and the locations. Almost people in the world, especially asian, want to go to the one of the prestiges university such as mit, Harvard, Stanford if they are given a chance although the tuition fee entering those school requires plenty of money compared to other asian university. I graduated from kaist, one of the top university in the south korea with free-tuition fee. However, the survey represented that more than half number of students in the top-3 university in Korea(SNU, kaist, POSTECH) are willing to give up their cummulated years if they entered to 'mit'. When I was an exchange student in hong-kong and U.K, I have also seen the statics showing similar results. Therefore, the decreasing or converging the tuition fee to zeros do not guarantee the increment of priority of seatown university.
In addition, the author failed to present the demographic issue and reliability of his main source: higher number of faculty might thought interesting to the free-tuition fee. Where comes from the source? The methods of determination process and the number and description s of uniformly distributed participants are not clearly specified too. The survey of official instituition and the reliable orientation of it should be determined.
Lastly, There might be some professor who do not want their children to go to the college because of effectiveness of the time. The general college program requires to spend 3-5 years, but someone might recommend their children to earn money directly or finding another jobs which does not need college-graduation. other might have followed the desires of children itself not suppressing them who do not want to get into the college. we cannot determine which one is better choice and for those who decided not to get into the college, this argument might sounds useless for them.
In conclusion, we have discussed the advantages and disadvantages of the suggestion from the faculty committee to the president of seatown university. although it sound reasonable for author's conclusion, the argument will be fruitful if the author take amount of more supports for his position.
Comments
e-rater score report
External examples are not recommended.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 551 350
No. of Characters: 2845 1500
No. of Different Words: 271 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.845 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.163 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.915 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 218 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 181 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.711 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.571 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author of the letter to the presiden...
^^
Line 1, column 354, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...n the periods of working professors for the extend of free tuition. I partially disagree w...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 472, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'committees'' or 'committee's'?
Suggestion: committees'; committee's
...say, I firstly additionally support the committees assertion briefly and describe the deta...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng faculty with the free tuition fee. Admittedly, the free tuition fee will be...
^^
Line 2, column 261, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
...about the university of their children. even though other factors such as publicity,...
^^^^
Line 2, column 447, Rule ID: SOME_FACULTY[1]
Message: Use 'faculty members'.
Suggestion: faculty members
...on varies on the wide ranges, thus some faculty might prefer to choose seatown universi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly decreased rather than current fee. The major problems he excessively assume...
^^
Line 3, column 240, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'prestiges'' or 'prestige's'?
Suggestion: prestiges'; prestige's
...lly asian, want to go to the one of the prestiges university such as mit, Harvard, Stanfo...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 763, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: K
... an exchange student in hong-kong and U.K, I have also seen the statics showing s...
^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent of priority of seatown university. In addition, the author failed to prese...
^^
Line 4, column 26, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n university. In addition, the author failed to present the demographic issue ...
^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'spending'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: spending
...e. The general college program requires to spend 3-5 years, but someone might recommend ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 317, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Other
...which does not need college-graduation. other might have followed the desires of chil...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 436, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...ho do not want to get into the college. we cannot determine which one is better ch...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gument might sounds useless for them. In conclusion, we have discussed the adv...
^^
Line 6, column 154, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...to the president of seatown university. although it sound reasonable for authors conclu...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 166, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sounds'?
Suggestion: sounds
...dent of seatown university. although it sound reasonable for authors conclusion, the...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 182, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...university. although it sound reasonable for authors conclusion, the argument wil...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, so, therefore, thus, in addition, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2905.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 550.0 441.139720559 125% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28181818182 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84273464058 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96612778713 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 281.0 204.123752495 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510909090909 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 908.1 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.9806283417 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.304347826 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9130434783 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91304347826 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.2632931276 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738451421972 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590813292966 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132996538918 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0642966177758 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.03 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 98.500998004 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.