The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The recommendation is well presented in this letter that the homeowner recommends that his or her friend delegate the real estates to Adams Reality for sale. Astonishingly plausible as the suggestion may sound, close scrutiny reveals it suffers from several unsubstantiated assumptions, which, if unjustified, will cast doubt on the credibility of the advice. Therefore, we are inquiring further information about the two companies’ employees, effectiveness, and the home the friend wants to sell to better evaluate the recommendation.
To begin with, we are informed that the Adams has more agents, especially full-time employees, than Fitch, but it is not equivalent to that Adams has a better employee force. The assumption that more full-time employee means a better operation will be rendered questionable, if the larger workforce is a result of cronyism. Moreover, another message in the letter seems to deny the presumption, because it shows that the sales per capita actually is lower for Adams compared to Fitch. Therefore, it challenges the conclusion that Adams is superior to Fitch, because the sale number signals Adams’ agent is less effective.
Moreover, by comparing the author’s experiences with two companies, the homeowner attributes the fast sale to Adams’ effectiveness. On the contrary, this argument hinges on a supposition that the two homes are relatively the same in terms of their location, price, and community, which is not always held in reality. If we finally find out the home sold by Adams is located in the downtown with a safer community, while Fitch’s one is in the rural area, it will make the recommendation open to doubt. It is because of some external factors that facilitate the sale for Adams than the difference in their capabilities. If the two homes are very similar, it will support the proposal.
Granted that, in past, Adams had a higher annual revenue and was more efficient in selling homes, it is still too hasty to draw a generalization that the consequence will reappear when it comes to the friend’s property. Maybe on the one hand, Adams has experienced a massive layoff, and new employees are poorly trained. On the other hand, Fitch has made profound reforms to refine its workforce and selling process. In such a circumstance, Fitch could be a similar, if not better, choice as Adams. Nevertheless, if Adams has kept its traditions, we could place more trust in its capability as well as the suggestion.
To summarize, as I have manifested above, though we cannot rule out the possibility that Adams is a better choice than Fitch in selling homes, it is too precipitous for the author to arrive at the conclusion without proving the aforementioned presumptions. The conclusion will be more persuasive if taking account of more details.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2273 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.92 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.398 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 212, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
... plausible as the suggestion may sound, close scrutiny reveals it suffers from several unsubst...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 15, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the past'?
Suggestion: in the past
...support the proposal. Granted that, in past, Adams had a higher annual revenue and ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, still, therefore, well, while, as well as, on the contrary, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2382.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 456.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22368421053 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.15829675804 2.78398813304 113% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526315789474 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 750.6 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.974003477 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.368421053 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05263157895 5.70786347227 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24999463974 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.077587433937 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0608530173146 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137563115729 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0474459353568 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 12.3882235529 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.