The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The article said that the Clearview is a best choice for the retire life, because the natural beauty and climate. Moreover, the cheap housing costs and taxes, even the health care is good there. However, more pieces of evidence are needed to make the claim more convincing to the readers.
The advantage which the author claims of the retire life in Clearview is housing costs have fallen significantly during the past year. The author believed that the costs of housing will not become higher at the future. However, it has a chance that the past year declination in the cost of the housing is because lots of company built the living house at the area, but the population isn’t that much. So the company launched a sales on the price of the housing to attract more people to live in. When more people live in those area, the price of the housing will get higher and higher. The author should provide the reason of the significant fall at the past year in order to predict the price of the housing.
The article also stated that mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets and public services. However, lots of the candidates promise that they will make a big improvement in the future if the voters vote for him. While they actually become the mayor, they did not implement the promise and progress which they proclaim before the election. The promise of the mayor is not convincing to the public, author should detail the relative progress and the improvement to prove the mayor had determine to advance the city.
The one of the reason why the Clearview is the top choice for people seeking the place to retire is the health care is excellent there. Since the number of physicians in the area is greater than the national average. However, what is the actually number of the physicians. If there only have three outstanding physicians in the area, but more than hundred of old patients needed to be treat. It is clearly that the resources of the medical are insufficient. The patients could not receive the good health care from the brilliant physicians. So, the author should tell us the exactly number of the physicians and the patients to prove that the health care is good enough for the retire life.
To conclude, the author claims that the Clearview is the best place for the retire life. Nonetheless, the author should answer those arguments to strengthen the claim of the article.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 1946 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.611 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.303 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.264 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 40, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
The article said that the Clearview is a best choice for the retire life, becaus...
^
Line 1, column 58, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...that the Clearview is a best choice for the retire life, because the natural beauty and cl...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 42, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...he advantage which the author claims of the retire life in Clearview is housing costs have...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this area' or 'those areas'?
Suggestion: this area; those areas
...le to live in. When more people live in those area, the price of the housing will get high...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 503, Rule ID: HAD_VBP[1]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'determined'.
Suggestion: determined
... the improvement to prove the mayor had determine to advance the city. The one of the ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 503, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'determined'.
Suggestion: determined
... the improvement to prove the mayor had determine to advance the city. The one of the ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... is the health care is excellent there. Since the number of physicians in the area is...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 349, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...g physicians in the area, but more than hundred of old patients needed to be treat. It ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 675, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...that the health care is good enough for the retire life. To conclude, the author claims...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 73, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...hat the Clearview is the best place for the retire life. Nonetheless, the author should an...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, then, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2005.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 421.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76247030879 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37411134308 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.425178147268 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 614.7 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.1893930479 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.1363636364 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1363636364 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240556265768 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0713795244631 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0948150378838 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138493614959 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0620162914982 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.