The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford offcampus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The scenario above has some argumentative statements which might seem plausible at first glance but eventually after perusing the situation, the flaws in the write up is found. The need of new dormitories in Buckingham College is arguable and the reasons for which the statements are flawed, are mentioned below.
Firstly, there is no clear indication of any survey result or finding that, the students who are enrolling in Buckingham college will prefer to live in a dormitory at the same percentage as the previous students' rate of using the dormitory. For this reason the first statement is illogical. Moreover, it is mnetioned that the enrollment will increase dramatically and eventually will be doubled after 50 year and based on this infromation the author has posited that the college needs more dormitories for their current students. How can we infer that the existing dormitories are insufficient for the students who are already enrolled in that institution? For the huge time gap it is not a feasible idea to build more dormitories now. These two statements could have been strengthened if there was a solid information about the prospective students' preference to enroll the institution with the dormitory service. The second point could have been more logical if it was incorporated that the existing number of dormitories are not enough for the students.
Secondly, it is mentioned that the average price of the houses have increased in recent days and for this reason students will find it difficult to afford the off-campus housing facilties. The serious flaw of this statement is that, the author has assumed that rent of each and every apartment has grown. The students might still find houses which are way more cheaper and affordable. Furthermore, the upcoming students can find homes outside the town. They can easily try to find out housing facilties near the campus which might be in the affordability range of a student. Another irrational way of thinking is, more students will be attracted if tyhe dormitories are built in an attractive manner. The propspective students might not bother about the aesthetics of the buildings at all. Students might consider the quality of the education, the overall ranking of the institute, the effectiveness of getting job after completing the study from this college. Thus, it will be imprudent to think that more students will be eager or encouraged if the buildings are built in attractive way. If there was an indication that the students are preferring beautiful housing over the other more crucial factors, then the statement could have been considered as a rational one.
In a nutshell, if surveys and research are done properly and rationally then the proposed statement of building more dormitories will be a logical and prudent decision to be implemented.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Moreover, it is mnetioned that the enrollment will increase dramatically and eventually will be doubled after 50 year and based on this infromation the author has posited that the college needs more dormitories for their current students.
Error: infromation Suggestion: information
Error: mnetioned Suggestion: mentioned
Sentence: Secondly, it is mentioned that the average price of the houses have increased in recent days and for this reason students will find it difficult to afford the off-campus housing facilties.
Error: facilties Suggestion: facilities
Error: off-campus Suggestion: off campus
Sentence: They can easily try to find out housing facilties near the campus which might be in the affordability range of a student.
Error: facilties Suggestion: facilities
Error: affordability Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Another irrational way of thinking is, more students will be attracted if tyhe dormitories are built in an attractive manner.
Error: tyhe Suggestion: type
Sentence: The propspective students might not bother about the aesthetics of the buildings at all.
Error: propspective Suggestion: prospective
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2332 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.059 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.249 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 155, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...er perusing the situation, the flaws in the write up is found. The need of new dormitorie...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 841, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...solid information about the prospective students preference to enroll the institution wi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 357, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'cheaper' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: cheaper
...s might still find houses which are way more cheaper and affordable. Furthermore, the upcomi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 677, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an attractive manner" with adverb for "attractive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...attracted if tyhe dormitories are built in an attractive manner. The propspective students might not bo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1136, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ere was an indication that the students are preferring beautiful housing over the other more c...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2380.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16268980477 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86989324497 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490238611714 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 745.2 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.267843843 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.0 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.05 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170841903012 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0570447459415 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0398436646684 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.093906336596 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0451122981066 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.