The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog has some of its largest stores in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The faculty committee (FC) has proposed to the President of the Seatown university (Su) that it should offer tuition-free study to children of the faculty members to increase their retention. however, the argument is not cogent enough as it is rife with assumptions.
Firstly, to support their view, fc has presented the case of Oceania university (ou) which offers similar intensive to their professors as well. Here the committee presumes that is the primary reason of lower turnover at ou. it could be that there might be other factors as well. it could be ou might be offering better remuneration and benefits as well. it could be would be providing more opportunity from career-perspective to these teachers as the institute would be more inclined towards research.
Secondly, FC is strongly pressing on the point that tuition-free study should offered to the children of the staff members will help reduce the flux. however, they have not shared any statistics of what percentage of the teachers have children falling in the age relevant bracket. it could be that most of the children are underage or already graduates. Moreover, we are not presented with the subject-range that is being offered at su. it could be su is a specialized school offering very limited programs and it could be only a small proportion of concerned prospective students would aspire to join SU. Under such circumstance, introducing this policy will not achieve the desired results.
Thirdly, fc believes that providing this facility could be the primary reason to retain teaching staff. But this debate is falling short since, we need to first understand the overall situation of fc. Exact reason for lower morale should be discussed. it would be better if some important findings of exist interviews were shared. it could be fc is not a tier one school, thus after gaining some experience initially, teachers might eventually be moving to reputable university with higher ranking. it might be the overall environment not be very comfortable and encouraging for them. some of the Head of Departments might not be really supportive towards them and might be unfair managers. it could be due to workload; the teachers are unable to keep work-live balance or takeout time for their postgraduate/ postdoctoral studies and so are opting for other options.
Lastly, the memo should have also shared about how the financials and aftermath would be managed in future state, provided their proposal in implemented. will this policy influx higher faculty children and less self-finance students? Does the su have enough funds?
It might be true that retaining professors would be priority of the management. however, before they took take any decision, they must consider the above discussed points otherwise they will not be able to achieve the intended results.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
wrong topics.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2322 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.761 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 136 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.136 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.649 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ty members to increase their retention. however, the argument is not cogent enough as i...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ough as it is rife with assumptions. Firstly, to support their view, fc has p...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 279, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...t there might be other factors as well. it could be ou might be offering better re...
^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...tter remuneration and benefits as well. it could be would be providing more opport...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d be more inclined towards research. Secondly, FC is strongly pressing on the...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 151, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...taff members will help reduce the flux. however, they have not shared any statistics of...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 282, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...en falling in the age relevant bracket. it could be that most of the children are ...
^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ill not achieve the desired results. Thirdly, fc believes that providing this...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 253, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...n for lower morale should be discussed. it would be better if some important findi...
^^
Line 13, column 332, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ndings of exist interviews were shared. it could be fc is not a tier one school, t...
^^
Line 13, column 500, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...putable university with higher ranking. it might be the overall environment not be...
^^
Line 13, column 500, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...putable university with higher ranking. it might be the overall environment not be...
^^
Line 13, column 586, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...y comfortable and encouraging for them. some of the Head of Departments might not be...
^^^^
Line 13, column 586, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...y comfortable and encouraging for them. some of the Head of Departments might not be really...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 692, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ards them and might be unfair managers. it could be due to workload; the teachers ...
^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and so are opting for other options. Lastly, the memo should have also shared...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 155, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Will
...provided their proposal in implemented. will this policy influx higher faculty child...
^^^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ents? Does the su have enough funds? It might be true that retaining professo...
^^^^^
Line 21, column 81, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...rs would be priority of the management. however, before they took take any decision, th...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 38.0 19.6327345309 194% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 32.0 12.9520958084 247% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2405.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 461.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.2169197397 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63367139033 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83156629022 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509761388286 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 731.7 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.0927168849 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.5 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7307692308 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38461538462 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0173193809482 0.218282227539 8% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00551361410645 0.0743258471296 7% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0122314467585 0.0701772020484 17% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0139301885996 0.128457276422 11% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0126871185244 0.0628817314937 20% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.7 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.