The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The board of director of Monarch books (mb) has been requested to approve opening a café at its premises. The write has stated her case along with justifications but it not cogent enough as it is rife with assumptions and holes.
The writer has tried to articulate the goodwill of the business based on the fact it has been operating since last two decades at the present location and has widespread customer reach. Before this fact could be agreed upon, further details are required. We need to understand how is mb performing from its clientele’s perspective. are they satisfied with the stocking of mb? is there any discipline for which for which publications are not readily available at the store? The writer should back this point based on a comprehensive feedback survey.
The memo suggested that space allocated to children’s book can be revamped to café since as per the national census the population of under ten children is on the decline. Now, to proceed further directors should be made aware of what percentage of revenue is obtained from these young customers. Secondly, it needs to be explained, what segment of society is facing decrement in children’s percentage. it could be the mortality would be high amongst infants of less privilege families resulting in overall decrease, but mb’s client base could be city’s gentry. If this is the actual case the entire idea would fall short and rework will be required.
The content is build on presumption that since the rival-Regal book (rb) has a café opened in their showroom, this new addition will enable mb compete better. The writer has not presented any detail regarding how the café successful has been the rb Café and how favorable has it turned out for the existing business of rb. is the café being utilized by rb readers or an entire other audience has turn it to their meetup spot?
The board would needs to understand how this is impacting mb. are the customers are preferring to visit rb over mb since they are offering them relaxing environment of read the new books and chitchat with friends? Also, the memorandum does not explore into rb Café. what has been offered in the menu, the price range and opening and closing timings.
The rival rb has opened a café and to stay in the business, mb might need to take some steps. However, the recommendation put forward is half-cooked. For the directors to conclude on decision, an elaborate study needs to be communicated.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 105, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...approve opening a café at its premises. The write has stated her case along with justific...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... is rife with assumptions and holes. The writer has tried to articulate the good...
^^^
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
... from its clientele's perspective. are they satisfied with the stocking of mb?...
^^^
Line 3, column 382, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...they satisfied with the stocking of mb? is there any discipline for which for whic...
^^
Line 3, column 406, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'for which'.
Suggestion: for which
...stocking of mb? is there any discipline for which for which publications are not readily available ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 414, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ecrement in children's percentage. it could be the mortality would be high am...
^^
Line 7, column 395, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'turned'.
Suggestion: turned
...readers or an entire other audience has turn it to their meetup spot? The board w...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ce has turn it to their meetup spot? The board would needs to understand how thi...
^^^
Line 9, column 17, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'need'
Suggestion: need
...o their meetup spot? The board would needs to understand how this is impacting mb....
^^^^^
Line 9, column 81, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...this is impacting mb. are the customers are preferring to visit rb over mb since they are offe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 267, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...morandum does not explore into rb Café. what has been offered in the menu, the price...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, regarding, second, secondly, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2072.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93333333333 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81091168303 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542857142857 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 627.3 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6171678259 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.0869565217 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2608695652 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.39130434783 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 15.0 4.67664670659 321% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.191828682462 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0540495868162 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0698583283922 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106348025483 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0538383155045 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.82 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.