The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog has some of its largest stores in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Although the memo aims to suggest a means to reverse the trend of declining sales, it is not presented cogently enough to assume that the suggestion will have the intended results. More evidence is needed to conclude whether placing ads in "Exotic Pets Monthly" will increase profits for Top Dog as it has for Fish Emporium, including what types of animals each store has, who reads "Exotic Pets Monthly," and what types of animals consumers are shopping for.
Even though the names Top Dog and Fish Emporium imply that they sell dogs and fish, respectively, we do not know, specifically, what each store sells. For example, Fish Emporium may be popular for the diverse species of fish they carry. They may have exotic fishes from all over the world, which would attract readers of "Exotic Pets Monthly." However, Top Dog may only have a small variety of dogs, which would not lure in individuals who want to own "exotic" pets. Thus, putting an ad in "Exotic Pets Monthly" would not have the same effect on Top Dog stores, that it did on Fish Emporium. Additionally, the amount of pet stores in Gulf City should be taken into account. If there is no competition for fish stores, and more competition for dog stores, it would be unlikely that simply placing an ad would result in a large profit increase for Top Dog, like it did for Fish Emporium.
The director also did not account for their target market and whether these people read "Exotic Pets Monthly." If people who read "Exotic Pets Monthly" are more interested in owning fish than dogs, Top Dog would not see a profit increase in their stores. Additionally, readers of "Exotic Pets Monthly" may be looking for diverse and different species of pets, which is much more common in fish than in dogs. Before concluding whether or not an ad in "Exotic Pets Monthly" would lead to a profit increase for Top Dog Stores, we need evidence to judge is the Top Dog store's pet stock matches what readers of "Exotic Pets Monthly" is looking for. If the two do no correspond, than it is unlikely that Top Dog will see the same profit as Fish Emporium.
Lastly, consumer need should be considered before placing an ad in "Exotic Pets Monthly." It is more common for fish to die quickly, than it is for dogs. Often times, people replace their fishes quickly, but do not replace their dogs. Thus, there may be more of a market for fish than dogs, and the increase in profit may not have been due to the ads, but simply because a plethora of fish died and their owners are looking to replace them. The profit increase cannot be attributed to the ad placed in "Exotic Pets Monthly" without ruling out other possibilities. Because of this, it is difficult to conclude that placing a Top Dogs ad in "Exotic Pets Monthly" will result in a profit increase, because we do not know the needs of consumer reading "Exotic Pets Monthly" and whether these were the customers that contributed to the profit increase in Fish Emporium stores.
Although a potentially viable method of increasing Top Dog store profits, more evidence is needed to conclude whether this suggestion will produce the intended results. The differences of the stores and consumers need to be evaluated, as well as where Fish Emporium's profits actually came from.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2609 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.569 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.297 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.955 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.364 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 419, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...has, who reads 'Exotic Pets Monthly,' and what types of animals consumers ar...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 457, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...in fish than in dogs. Before concluding whether or not an ad in 'Exotic Pets Monthly&apos...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 724, Rule ID: COMMA_THAN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'then'?
Suggestion: then
...oking for. If the two do no correspond, than it is unlikely that Top Dog will see th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, lastly, look, may, so, thus, well, as for, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2847.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 571.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98598949212 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88831323574 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93388657651 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.376532399299 0.468620217663 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 870.3 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.5378113264 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.842105263 119.503703932 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0526315789 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.26315789474 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298034768354 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136914056917 0.0743258471296 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0521138369773 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217899857632 0.128457276422 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0449203703683 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 14.3799401198 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.