The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The summary claims that we can expect a steady decline of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. This is based on the fact that there has been an increase of salicylates, which belong to the same chemical family as aspirin, in foods and that a study found that there has been a decline in the average headaches reported by participants. Although a plausible conclusion, more evidence is needed to effectively evaluate the argument.
First, information on the studies methodology and consistency with the scientific method is necessary. For example, the study may have not consisted of participants who suffer from chronic headaches, which is not representative of the whole Mentia population. If these participants had frequent headaches, then the salicylates may have affected them differently than they would people who only receive occasional headaches. Similarly, these participants may have been taking medication to reduce their headaches during the study, indicating that salicylates may not have been the sole cause the reduction in headaches. Additionally, since it was a long study, there may have been high levels of attrition. The participants who experienced more frequent headaches may have dropped out, whereas those who did not, remained in the study. If this were the case, then the study would have reported a decline in the number of headaches, but it may not have been valid. If either of these situations hold true, then the argument is severely weakened.
Second, evidence about the effects of salicylates is necessary to evaluate whether its introduction into food will result in fewer headaches. Although salicylates belong to the same family as aspirin, it may not have the same effects. Salicylates could be involved in reducing stress, and if many of these participants suffered from stress induced headaches, then the reduction of stress may have contributed to fewer headaches. However, if individuals have different reasons for headaches, like genetics or visual difficulties, then salicylates may not help to reduce their headaches. Additionally, salicylate could be a placebo, and individuals who were told that they were receiving medication for their headaches simply felt the placebo effect. Thus, salicylates may not be effective in actually reducing the amount of headaches one suffers from. The argument that salicylates reduce headaches is undermined if either of these cases holds water.
Third, more evidence is needed about how salicylates are used is before judging the argument. For example, food-processing companies may not have added a significant amount of salicylates to foods. The difference between foods with only natural salicylates and those with added salicylates may be minimal. If this is the case, then the reduction in headaches may not be attributed to the increased use of salicylates in food. Furthermore, the article claims that food processing discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives. However, there is no evidence to say whether or not this will occur. If food processing companies do not include more salicylates in foods as flavor additives, then it may not affect those with headaches. Thus, there probably will not be a decline in headache rates. If either of these is true, then the argument that the use of salicylates in food will lead to a reduced number of headaches is hampered.
The argument is not presented cogently enough to assume that the increase in salicylates in food will result in fewer headaches among the Mentia residents. More evidence is needed about how the study was conducted, the effects of salicylates, and how salicylates are used in food. With this evidence, we can effectively evaluate the argument in order to conclude whether or not the salicylates will produce the desired results.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 607 350
No. of Characters: 3144 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.964 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.18 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.886 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 227 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 182 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 142 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 101 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.233 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.484 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.767 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 27, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'studies'' or 'study's'?
Suggestion: studies'; study's
...gument. First, information on the studies methodology and consistency with the sc...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 583, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...s. However, there is no evidence to say whether or not this will occur. If food processing com...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 364, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...luate the argument in order to conclude whether or not the salicylates will produce the desire...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, similarly, so, then, third, thus, whereas, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 28.0 12.9520958084 216% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3238.0 2260.96107784 143% => OK
No of words: 607.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.33443163097 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96360453597 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9823668217 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.390444810544 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1062.9 705.55239521 151% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.089583722 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.933333333 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2333333333 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.03333333333 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244163732677 0.218282227539 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0787929214314 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504581696628 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159155693357 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426848903423 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.26 48.3550499002 71% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.5 12.197005988 111% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.