The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The writer of the argument argues that increase in commercial use of Salicylates would continue to cause decline in number of headaches. This is based on the premises that Salicylates, which is a member of the same chemical family as that of Aspirin, have been added to foods as preservatives and it is found to be correlated with a decline in number of headaches and recently, it is also found that it can be used as a flavour in food. This argument seems true at first sight, however, on deeper analysis it becomes clear that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into account, leading to a number of unverified evidences and logical flaws.
One such unverified evidence is the cause and effect relationship between Salicylates and decline in number of headaches. In other words, the writer has assumed that only Salicylates have caused decline in number of headaches reported by the participants. However, it may be the case that during the last 2 decades, there was a movement in Mentia which encouraged its population to follow healthy diet, thus they were consuming only health conducive foods and drinks which impacted their health in terms of reduction in headaches. For example, the study conducted by physicians in 2006 in India on 40,000 people concluded that people who had consumed foods those have ingredients similar to the preventive medicines for bowel movements had reported fewer number of medical problems related to bowels. But the same study also concluded that these people had a habit to consume Papaya every day, thus, these foods are not alone credited with such health benefits. Therefore, in order to strengthen the argument, the writer should have provided the analysis of complete diet of all these respondents in the last 2 decades.
Moreover, the writer ignored to consider the evidence on analogical relationship between Aspirin and Salicylates. In other words, the writer has assumed that since Salicylates belong to the chemical family of Aspirin, it has same effects on headaches as that of Aspirin. However, it may be the case that Salicylates have some other undesirable consequences on health depending on the proportion of Salicylates in food since how much Aspirin is required to cure headaches may not be equivalent to amount of Salicylates present in the food. For example, the study conducted by pharmaceutical companies in 2017 in India on two medicines, that is Crocin and Paracetamol which are belong to the same chemical family that cure fever, concluded that though both cured fever, however, Paracetamol has resulted in undesirable consequences such as running blood from nose, excessive sweating, nausea etc. since it was used more than the required amount. Therefore, in order to render the argument valid, the writer has to provide evidence on the amount required of Salicylates and Aspirin to cure headaches.
Finally, the writer has also arbitrarily overlooked the evidence of study that was conducted over last 2 decades. In other words, the writer has assumed that the conditions of the respondents were same during the time period the study was conducted for and the results of this study would be applicable in future as well since conditions are going to remain the same. However, there may be the case that the study covered only those people who remained static in terms of their environment and ignored other samples because of continuous change, thus might have made the results inconsistent. And it may also be the case that study was conducted under control environment where researchers maintained same environment over last 2 decades and prevented any change in the environment. However, the conditions in the future may not remain same since, people would not be immured to the limited or controlled environment. Thus, in order to overcome this flaw, the writer should have provided the analysis on conditions under which this study was conducted.
While concluding, after close examination of the argument presented, it is apparent that the argument as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on certain unverified evidences. The recommendations provided in the above paragraphs show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 691 350
No. of Characters: 3491 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.052 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.747 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 254 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 193 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 138 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 93 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.904 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.909 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 677, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'belonged'.
Suggestion: belonged
...hat is Crocin and Paracetamol which are belong to the same chemical family that cure f...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, well, while, as to, for example, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 107.0 55.5748502994 193% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3579.0 2260.96107784 158% => OK
No of words: 691.0 441.139720559 157% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17945007236 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.12707312764 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82314793411 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.397973950796 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1162.8 705.55239521 165% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.5161868378 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.608695652 119.503703932 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0434782609 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.26086956522 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.185996644716 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0600050613857 0.0743258471296 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0544353177821 0.0701772020484 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103596957889 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662795723765 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 14.3799401198 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.57 48.3550499002 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.36 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 98.500998004 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.