The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus
making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally,
attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The writer is trying to pursue the management of Buckingham College (bc) to approve construction of hostels and has presented justification in favor, but the letter is rile with hole and not cogent enough.
The first point made by the writer is that admission are increasing on yearly basis and will reach to 150% of current enrollment in next 5 decades. However, no statistics has been shared regarding how many housing requests have been and what ratio of it was declined due to space limitation. also, it must be taken into account of percentage of student body is comprised by day scholars to determine how many students might need to stay in dorm. Since this is a long-term plan, it must be also considered what percentage of future students will be out-stationed.
it must be noted the building of new dormitories will be expensive. The management needs to determine if it will be feasible to spread the cost of project over period of 50 years. they need to assess that this must impact other programs running or planned to be executed in future due to financial constraints.
The writer has raised the concern that average rent is also on the rise in the city and student are finding it difficult to afford . management needs to decide what will the charges of dorm rooms and will be lower than the current rates of the area. also, it needs to be determine if the student who are finding it difficult to pay charges for their housing, will they be able to afford room in dormitory based on family’s financial condition.
it has also been suggested that new dorm will attract more students. but to admit more students, it need to be assess if the batch size increment is possible accordingly. if bc will not capacity to increase number of admissions synchronous with extended dorm capacity, then additional students will cannot be admitted.
building of new dorms might be need of future of bc, but before any finalize decision could be take different aspects are required to be deterred.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1616 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.671 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.597 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.951 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.8 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 167, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'riled'.
Suggestion: riled
...stification in favor, but the letter is rile with hole and not cogent enough. The...
^^^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...t was declined due to space limitation. also, it must be taken into account of perce...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ture students will be out-stationed. it must be noted the building of new dormi...
^^
Line 5, column 181, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ost of project over period of 50 years. they need to assess that this must impact ot...
^^^^
Line 7, column 131, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...udent are finding it difficult to afford . management needs to decide what will th...
^^
Line 7, column 134, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Management
...nt are finding it difficult to afford . management needs to decide what will the charges o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 251, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...wer than the current rates of the area. also, it needs to be determine if the studen...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...n family's financial condition. it has also been suggested that new dorm w...
^^
Line 9, column 70, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...at new dorm will attract more students. but to admit more students, it need to be a...
^^^
Line 9, column 172, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...size increment is possible accordingly. if bc will not capacity to increase number...
^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Building
...al students will cannot be admitted. building of new dorms might be need of future of...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, however, if, regarding, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1666.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81502890173 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7024233498 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526011560694 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.2771005072 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.066666667 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0666666667 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.106315590224 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0406248999739 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0183307746608 0.0701772020484 26% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0606569372691 0.128457276422 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0137532385086 0.0628817314937 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.