The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog has some of its largest stores in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores claim that by putting their aids in the Exotic Pets Monthly magazine, their sales will get enhanced and they'll start to make the profit. Stated in this way, the director failed to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To justify this claim, the director further assumes that by advertising in Exotic Pets Monthly magazine, more people will get to know about Top Dog Pet Stores and the advantages of purchasing pets from this store. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence provides little creditable support to directors' claim. Hence, the directors claim can be considered as incomplete and unsubstantiated.
First of all, the director claims that five years ago, since the sales of Fish Emporium has enhanced after touting about their stores in Exotic Pets Monthy magazine and hence the same will happen for Top Dog Pet Stores if they started to adverting in that magazine too. Furthermore, it could be possible that the sales of Fish Emporium has declined afterwards due to any reason like people's apathy in pets and fishes since the director has not provided any further information about the sales of Fish Emporium. Moreover, it can also be considered that the Exotic Pets Monthly magazine has become out of interest for readers and has become less popular compared to that five years ago. Thus, without having any information about the sales rate of Exotic Pets Monthly magazine and sales rate of Fish Emporium, we cannot really say anything about the enhance in sales for Top Dog Pet Stores and thus would make the claim inadequate to consider.
Furthermore, the director mentioned that the sales rate of Fish Emporium has increased by 15 percent after their advertisement in Exotic Pets Monthly magazine. However, a 15 percent increase may not be considered as a huge sales increase since the acutal number of sales from Fish Emporium is not given. If the actual sales rate is already low then 15 percent increase or 20 percent increase wouldn't affect the sales rate that much. If the director had given information about the exact number of sales in Fish Emporium then it would make the argument more cogent to analyze.
Finally, the shops can't be compared directly on the basis of their sales since one is selling the fishes and other is selling the dogs (as their name suggests Fish Emporium and Top Dog Pet Stores). Since it is obvious that many people would like to have a fishpot or aquarium in their house or shops or at various places and hence the sales of Fish Emporium is humongous. Also many people won't like to buy dogs and small pets for their home instead they would like to buy a fishpod which will enhance the beauty of their place where they spent much of their time. Therefore, the director needs to provide details of any other pet shop who have enhanced their sales by advertising in Exotic Pets Monthly magazine so that it can be compared with Top Dog Pet Stores.
In conclusion, the directors' argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it futher, the author should provide concrete evidences, perhaps by the way of reliable survey about the number of pet stores specifically dog stores whose sales has enhanced after touting in the Exotic Pets Monthly magazine. Finally, to better assess the argument, it would be necessary to know more about the interest of people in buying pet dogs for their house.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 590 350
No. of Characters: 2794 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.928 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.736 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.339 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 193 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.313 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 150, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they'll
...zine, their sales will get enhanced and theyll start to make the profit. Stated in thi...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 845, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...um, we cannot really say anything about the enhance in sales for Top Dog Pet Stores and thu...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...percent increase or 20 percent increase wouldnt affect the sales rate that much. If the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 434, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ouldnt affect the sales rate that much. If the director had given information abou...
^^
Line 7, column 20, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ogent to analyze. Finally, the shops cant be compared directly on the basis of th...
^^^^
Line 7, column 371, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...he sales of Fish Emporium is humongous. Also many people wont like to buy dogs and s...
^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
...p Dog Pet Stores. In conclusion, the directors argument is unpersuasive as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, really, so, then, therefore, thus, in conclusion, by the way, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 85.0 55.5748502994 153% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2843.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 587.0 441.139720559 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84327086882 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9222030514 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41027381929 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.3867120954 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 905.4 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.7208219609 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.15 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.35 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.2 5.70786347227 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.492680568892 0.218282227539 226% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.177396335732 0.0743258471296 239% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113898383567 0.0701772020484 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.299198276224 0.128457276422 233% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0721605877766 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.