The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent after their ads began appearing in the magazine. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog Pet Stores is based in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."
This memo is from the managing director Top Dog Pet Stores who gives an optimistic conclusion to accelerate their sales. The director concludes that if they will gave the advertisement in Exotic Pets City then sales of Top Dog Pet Stores will be increased and they can start making profit again. For that conclusion, various assumptions and observations are given in the statements. Five years ago fish emporium started advertising in that magazine and their sales increased 15 percent. Similarly in golf city, three fish emporium stores increased their sales by advertising in same magazine. But the given assumptions and observation does not provide the specific evidence to believe the conclusion.
Beginning with the first observation that five years ago the fish emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly and their sales increased by 15 percent. But there may be several other reasons for increasing sales. It may be possible that number of people immigrated in that area during these five years like to buy fish emporium for decoration. There may be also possibility that the people who live in that area may have disposition the fishes during these five years for home decoration. It may be possible the price of fish emporium was decreased during these years or More stores, restaurants or companies might be opened in that area who decorated space by fish emporium during these years. Therefore, the increased sales of fish emporium can have various reasons. So, how can the author make the assumption about magazine advertising and increased sales.
Then there is a comparison between the fish emporium and the Top Dog Pet Stores. How can anyone compare the sales of fish and sales of pet dogs. There may be number of possibilities to have smaller sales of pet dogs with compare to fish Emporium. It is clear that the fish emporium can be used at any place to decorate the space or as a show piece. Homes as well as professional places and companies can also buy fish emporiums. But we can’t know how much people of that area like dogs. The inclination towards dogs may be different for different persons. So, it is irrelevant analogy between fish emporium and pet dog sales.
The other observation is about the three stores of fish emporium in golf city which gain higher profits by advertising in the Exotic magazine. But that is clearly not analogues to pet dog sales. Generally people have predilection towards fish emporium which looks garish by multiple fishes, but all people does not have same tendency towards dogs, it may be one of the reason of why dog sales were decreased. There may be another reason of declining sales of dogs for example dogs need more attention and care compare to fish emporium.
Therefore, the given evidences are not good enough to bolster the managing director’s optimistic conclusion. If there are more evidences then the conclusion can be considerable. But with given evidences we can’t assume that the sales of dogs will be increased by advertising in Exotic Pet Magazine.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2497 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.896 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.598 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.345 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 163, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...he director concludes that if they will gave the advertisement in Exotic Pets City t...
^^^^
Line 1, column 488, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...e and their sales increased 15 percent. Similarly in golf city, three fish emporium store...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 457, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...h emporiums. But we can't know how much people of that area like dogs. The incl...
^^^^
Line 9, column 115, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... director's optimistic conclusion. If there are more evidences then the concl...
^^
Line 9, column 143, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...conclusion. If there are more evidences then the conclusion can be considerable. But...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, similarly, so, then, therefore, well, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2565.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02941176471 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70981598136 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.378431372549 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 824.4 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.5449791997 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.6071428571 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2142857143 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35714285714 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.35781626911 0.218282227539 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124156873483 0.0743258471296 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113390840113 0.0701772020484 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.230380075722 0.128457276422 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.1063749923 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.