The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council.
"Two years ago, the town of Seaside Vista opened a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. Since then, the Seaside Vista Tourism Board has reported a 20% increase in visitors. In addition, local banks reported a steep rise in the number of new business loan applications they received this year. The amount of tax money collected by Seaside Vista has also increased, allowing the town to announce plans to improve Seaside Vista's roads and bridges. We recommend building a similar golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg. We predict that this project will generate additional tax revenue that the city can use to fund much-needed public improvements."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council is recommending building a municipal golf course and resort hotel in the town like the one opened, around two years ago, in the town of Seaside Vista. This recommendation is due to the outcome of increase in the visitors besides increment in the collection of tax money which would enable the town of Seaside Vista to improve its current infrastructure such as roads and bridges. This recommendation has several unanswered questions which needs attention before the recommendation is enacted upon.
Primarily, is the town of Brindleburg comparable to the town of Seaside Vista? That is, variables such as demographics and other factors influencing a town’s financial success same for both the town? Perhaps, the town of Seaside View can accommodate such increased influx of visitors but Brindleburg has its own limitations. The town of Brindleburg might not even have sufficient land to construct the proposed infrastructure right where the heart of the town is (which is what tourist loves to explore; the true identity of the town and its people). It might even be the case where the town of Brindleburg has less amusements for the visitors despite the golf course and resort hotel. Thus, the new buildings just added to the already flourishing tourism of Seaside Vista. It is also highly possible that the public’s mindset towards tourist is completely opposite from those of Seaside View, that they are not as congenial as Seaside View’s residents.
Secondly, the steep rise in the number of business loan applications might not even be the right stick to measure the overall upliftment of the town. What is the exact number of applications which the bank approves for their business loans? And how many businesses successfully turn their venture into a profit making machine and actually contribute to the tax money of Seaside View, might give the right measurement of the town’s increment in tax collection. Additionally, these loan applications might be for business ventures outside of the town of Seaside View and the business owners are applying to the local banks because of the ease of convenience, that is nearness of banks’ branch to their home.
Even if all the above arguments are accounted for and questions are answered with appropriate data, how long did it take the town of Brindleburg to recover the expenses of constructing the new golf course and resort hotel? Since such an endeavour require huge amounts of capital and there is a break-even point where the income has now fully recovered the money involved during the construction phase. With mere 20% increase in visitors (that too not specified whether its monthly, annual or over the period of two years) is not sufficient data to indulge in another major activity of building the golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg.
In sum, we see that the recommendation needs bolstering data as evidence to hold water in order to achieve the desired outcome.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2454 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.729 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.388 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 610, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun amusements is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... case where the town of Brindleburg has less amusements for the visitors despite the...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2517.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 495.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08484848485 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84652414789 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492929292929 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 780.3 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7075698028 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.833333333 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.11111111111 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356757934008 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119922001162 0.0743258471296 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124942692359 0.0701772020484 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17539712623 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.132602947427 0.0628817314937 211% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 98.500998004 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.