The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of Brindleburg to the city council.
"Two years ago, the town of Seaside Vista opened a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. Since then, the Seaside Vista Tourism Board has reported a 20 0ncrease in visitors. In addition, local banks reported a steep rise in the number of new business loan applications they received this year. The amount of tax money collected by Seaside Vista has also increased, allowing the town to announce plans to improve Seaside Vista's roads and bridges. We recommend building a similar golf course and resort hotel in Brindleburg. We predict that this project will generate additional tax revenue that the city can use to fund much-needed public improvements."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo ,it is asked to the city council to build a golf course and a resort hotel in Brindelburg, in order to generate additional tax revenue that can be used to fund public improvements. The opponent has come to this conclusion, based on improvements in town of Seaside Vista and that as well can happen in Brindelburg. However, before this recommendation can be evaluated, three questions must be answered.
First of all, are the two towns comparable based on locations and landforms? Does Seaside Vista mean the town is close to the seaside and tourism has many chances to flourish? Does Brindleburg belong to another kind of location and offers not as much as Seaside Vista? Perhaps, there are many chances for Seaside Vista to have many tourists based on the location. Maybe the municipal golf course and resort hotel were a big effect on the visitor increase. The additional actions increased the taxes collected which might have been used for public improvements. On the other hand, we do not have enough information what Brindleburg offers to develop tourism and attract people. If that is the case, the claim of building the resort and the golf course could be called into question. Further, without actions taken we do not know if the numbers of visitors will grow and the public improvements would be possible.
Secondly, is there an explanation how building a resort and a golf course increases tax revenues? The opponents in the argument predict prematurely that after these two actions taken earnings from taxes will ncrease, this might not be the case. Perhaps, people of Brindleburg are not golf lovers and they will not come to the resort and moreover to play golf. Maybe they like hiking instead and prefer to come back home at night. If the above is true, the argument does not hold water.
In addition, does applying for loans mean successful businesses? The author of the argument says that Seaside Vista banks reported an increase in bank loans which is not happening in Brindleburg. Perhaps investors do not see a cause to get loans and invest in Brindleburg. Maybe, they choose to work and not sacrifice on bank loans. If this is true, no new businesses would open .
In conclusion,the argument is relying on several unwarranted assumptions, so it is flawed.If the author is able to argument the three questions above, and offer more evidence then it would be possible to take actions and see the profits just like in Seaside Vista.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 1993 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.723 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.538 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.942 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.273 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
In the memo ,it is asked to the city council to build...
^^
Line 2, column 95, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ations and landforms? Does Seaside Vista mean the town is close to the seaside an...
^^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o actions taken earnings from taxes will ncrease, this might not be the case. Pe...
^^
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...taken earnings from taxes will ncrease, this might not be the case. Perhaps, peo...
^^
Line 4, column 378, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...is is true, no new businesses would open . In conclusion,the argument is relying ...
^^
Line 5, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...w businesses would open . In conclusion,the argument is relying on several unwarran...
^^^^
Line 5, column 90, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...nwarranted assumptions, so it is flawed.If the author is able to argument the thre...
^^
Line 5, column 175, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...uestions above, and offer more evidence then it would be possible to take actions an...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, well, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2047.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87380952381 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68408551069 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492857142857 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 632.7 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.7825682883 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.0 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2608695652 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95652173913 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287627320635 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0762784281973 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0670119273129 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140295091984 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.062765864769 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.