The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
According to the memo from New Ventures consultant the opening of the HonbCo chain shop in the city of Grilldon will have a predective positive result beacuse of the four following assumptions: no hooby shops in Grilldon and a higher percentage of residents response is positive, increase in percentage in hobby business throughout the nation and large population of retirees in thr city of Grilldon. But some claims are based certain assumptions which need to be answered,otherwise the conclusion drawn from those assumptions might fall apart.
At first, it is mentioned that according to the researcher conduct of survey, around 88 percent respond positive regarding the hobby shop in Grilldon. The assumption behind this survey, that the percentage mentioned is accurate and there is no fault in the data that is represented. If so, then it is necessary to mention how many people take part in the survey.For instance, if there are around 100 people and 88 percent respond positively then the response can be considered as positive whereas if there are thousands people and 88 percent of them respond positively then the conclusion that was drawn that the response is positive, will fall apart and in turn such response from people will be considered as negative. In that case, it should be explicity mentioned that how many people take part in the survey.
Secondly, the assumption was there was no hobby shop in Grilldon and national business has increased 300 percent in hobby. Here, the basis of comparision between national and region is completely absurd. Because it may happen that the hobby business is doing quite great in big cities and that's why the overall percentange has increased. Before claiming that the hobbby shop will do great in small, a business analysis in must regarding that purpose. Other factors, such as particularly at what place the shop should be opned so that all the regionl people get access to the shop and morover a financial analysis is mandatory in this regard whether revenue can be earned from the regional shop.
At last, there was an additional assumption that as the number of retirees population is greater in the city is higher,so they will spend most of their time in the shop. Before reaching the conclusion, it might be considered that all the retiree people may not prefer spending time in shop because of their health issues, rather they might prefer to stay at home. On the other hand, it might be intrepreated that as the number of retiree person is higher, the number of young people is lower and there is natural tendency among young people to spend leusire time alongside their study and job. So, before reaching the conclusion, the questions regarding the number of young people and health issues and preference related to retiree person must be answered.
Im conclusion, it is necessary to clarify the assumptions before reaching the conlcusion. If the consultant is able to condider the unanswered questions beneath the assumptions made by researchers and survey conduction, then only it would bb=e jusified for the president of HobCo Inc. to open their chain shop in the city of Grilldon.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2580 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.877 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.163 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 473, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , otherwise
...in assumptions which need to be answered,otherwise the conclusion drawn from those assumpt...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 363, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...how many people take part in the survey.For instance, if there are around 100 peopl...
^^^
Line 9, column 154, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in hobby. Here, the basis of comparision between national and region is completel...
^^
Line 9, column 291, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
... is doing quite great in big cities and thats why the overall percentange has increas...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 119, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , so
...ulation is greater in the city is higher,so they will spend most of their time in t...
^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...o retiree person must be answered. Im conclusion, it is necessary to clarify ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, whereas, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2649.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 525.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04571428571 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78673985869 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72728117088 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43619047619 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 814.5 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 99.659358087 57.8364921388 172% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.166666667 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1666666667 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05555555556 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164846137302 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574308215568 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0682373925642 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112245009199 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0745381007502 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.