The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument states the citings of the survey which presents that the team of has completed a research of the suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby shop in city of grilldon. they found no hobby shops in the proximity of southeastern grilldon.they also cited the results of a poll which states that 88 percent of people would welcome a hobby shop. also states that in grilldon the hobby business has increased dramatically. The arguments then further supports there claim by stating that there are a large number of retirees in the area who would have time to devote to other hobbies. And hence concludes that this is an idle place to invest or to start there venture. The argument makes an number of unwarranted claims regarding the interest of people of grilldon and then basis is conclusion on the assumptions.
Firstly, The arguments states that during there survey they found no hobby shops in the area which may mean that they did not perform a comprehensive survey identifying all the areas where the hobby shops can be and thus provided a hasty result on the basis of which it cannot be concluded that there are no shops. also it states that the 88 percent would welcome a store in the locality but it does not ensure the success of the shop as people might welcome but do not have the time to visit the place. also people may not be able to afford the place. also the people targeted during the survey are not mentioned may be survey was taken in place which favoured the hobby shop but cannot be generalized for the whole city.
Secondly, The argument claims that the hobby business in the last few years is booming in the the city. The above fact seems incomplete as it does not provide the particular outcomes of the southern grilldon as the diversity is evident in the city of grilldon where the people in one part of city have choices and life style significantly different from other parts of the city. then again the argument cites that the city has large portion of retieers but this does not support the conclusion as the retieers might devote there time to certain other activites rather than hobbies. the people might be engaged in community services rather than hobby shops or spend time in soltitude.
Finally, The argument concludes that based on the above arguments, it safe to expect a number of people to visit the hobby shops which is again not backed by supporting evidence the company needs to conduct comprehensive survey before reaching an agreement because the current claims given seem fallacious and the argument seems to fall apart.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2102 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.661 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.391 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 45.1 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.881 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.415 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.077 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...presents that the team of has completed a research of the suitable building sites for a ne...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...w HobCo hobby shop in city of grilldon. they found no hobby shops in the proximity o...
^^^^
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...t of people would welcome a hobby shop. also states that in grilldon the hobby busin...
^^^^
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...t of people would welcome a hobby shop. also states that in grilldon the hobby busin...
^^^^
Line 1, column 495, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her supports there claim by stating that there are a large number of retirees in ...
^^
Line 1, column 507, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... there claim by stating that there are a large number of retirees in the area who would have tim...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 697, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...start there venture. The argument makes an number of unwarranted claims regarding ...
^^
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...t be concluded that there are no shops. also it states that the 88 percent would we...
^^^^
Line 3, column 316, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...t be concluded that there are no shops. also it states that the 88 percent would we...
^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ncluded that there are no shops. also it states that the 88 percent would welcome...
^^
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...o not have the time to visit the place. also people may not be able to afford the pl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 506, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...o not have the time to visit the place. also people may not be able to afford the pl...
^^^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Also
...e may not be able to afford the place. also the people targeted during the survey a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e may not be able to afford the place. also the people targeted during the survey a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: also,
...e may not be able to afford the place. also the people targeted during the survey a...
^^^^
Line 5, column 91, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ess in the last few years is booming in the the city. The above fact seems incomplete a...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 91, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ess in the last few years is booming in the the city. The above fact seems incomplete a...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 380, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...different from other parts of the city. then again the argument cites that the city...
^^^^
Line 5, column 414, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...city. then again the argument cites that the city has large portion of retieers b...
^^
Line 5, column 584, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...in other activites rather than hobbies. the people might be engaged in community se...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2133.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72949002217 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43595856498 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.419068736142 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 672.3 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 83.4806697519 57.8364921388 144% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.2 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.0666666667 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183224257724 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0747599657078 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104314071284 0.0701772020484 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111649088577 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0710375832467 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.75 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.