The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo mentioned above, the owner of a chain of cheese stores recommends discontinuing the stocking of many of their varieties of imported cheese to instead focus primarily on domestic cheeses, therefore improving profits as well as reducing expenses by limiting their inventory. To support their recommendation the author states that last year all of the five best selling cheeses at their newest stores were domestic cheddar cheese from Wisconsin. The author also claims that a recent survey conducted by a popular cheese magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. While the author’s recommendation may have merit, to properly evaluate the argument, several pieces of evidence must be considered.
Firstly, the author states that in the past year, their newest stores found that the five best selling kinds of cheese were domestic cheddar. The author only provides information obtained from their newest stores. Therefore, several pieces of evidence are needed to evaluate the author's conclusion. The author’s argument is hampered by the lack of information about how well different cheeses sold at older stores. The author clearly states that their chain of stores holds franchises throughout the United States, so if certain evidence revealed that the best selling cheese at some of the companies' older stores were imported cheeses that sold twice as much this would severely weaken the author's conclusion. On the contrary, what might strengthen the argument is evidence showing that the company implemented a battery of unbiased surveys asking prospective customers which types of cheese they preferred and found an overwhelming majority preferred domestic cheeses. Hence, to cater to their customer's tastes, the newer stores' inventory is made up primarily of domestic cheeses.
Secondly, the argument cites recent survey data gathered from a magazine called Cheeses of the World that suggests a burgeoning preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. To effectively evaluate the argument, evidence concerning the subscriber's shopping habits is needed. It is important to know whether these same subscribers’ patron at this chain of cheese stores. It would greatly weaken the argument if these subscribers’ shop for their cheese someplace else because the survey results would not be representative of their customer base. Additionally, more evidence is needed to show that the survey can in fact be a reliable indicator of their subscribers’ preferences. That is, more detail is needed about the survey itself. For example, the survey results cannot be effectively used to back the author’s argument if the survey questions were consciously designed to more biased towards domestic cheeses over imported cheeses. The survey could have asked their subscribers whether they preferred domestic cheeses made in Wisconsin versus imported cheeses from India.
Lastly, the author states that by discontinuing their stock of imported cheeses they can limit their inventory stock thereby improving their profits in all their stores. However, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence that discontinuing their stock of imported cheeses would result in more profits. If it turned out that most of their profits came from the sale of their imported cheeses the author's plan would be eliminating a significant portion of their profits as well as alienating a large number of customers who appreciate the variety the store offers. Moreover, before discontinuing a potentially profitable product, the author might consider other ways to cut expenses. Perhaps, the store spends an exorbitant amount of money on expensive bottles of wine to complement their cheeses, but evidence shows that their wine sales have been steadily declining. So, without considering the evidence mentioned above the author’s conclusion would represent a foolish endeavor.
In sum, while the author's recommendation may have some merit, it is ultimately weakened by neglecting serious and thoughtful consideration of the evidence presented above. To bolster the argument the author would benefit from a comprehensive analysis of cheese sales from all their stores, not just the newest ones. Additionally, it would behoove the author to implement a normed survey from their customers from around the country to determine their preferences, as well as identifying other ways to cut back on expenses.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 678 350
No. of Characters: 3695 1500
No. of Different Words: 287 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.103 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.45 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.755 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 309 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 228 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 166 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 91 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.828 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 351, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...dation the author states that last year all of the five best selling cheeses at their newe...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 280, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... of evidence are needed to evaluate the authors conclusion. The author’s argument is ha...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 580, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...evealed that the best selling cheese at some of the companies older stores were imported ch...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 692, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... as much this would severely weaken the authors conclusion. On the contrary, what might...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1084, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... made up primarily of domestic cheeses. Secondly, the argument cites recent surv...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 497, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... of their profits as well as alienating a large number of customers who appreciate the variety th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 19, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... foolish endeavor. In sum, while the authors recommendation may have some merit, it ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, while, for example, in fact, as well as, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 93.0 55.5748502994 167% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3780.0 2260.96107784 167% => OK
No of words: 678.0 441.139720559 154% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.57522123894 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.10278680062 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85538713681 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 295.0 204.123752495 145% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435103244838 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1169.1 705.55239521 166% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.4668909235 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.0 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2142857143 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10714285714 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263721143779 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0848427840214 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081105928032 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179381920546 0.128457276422 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0901290204015 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.38 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 172.0 98.500998004 175% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.