The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company.
"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
A vice president of a manufacturing company stated in his/her memo that shortening work shift duration allows their employees spending more time on recovering, thus reduce the probability of accidents happened when working. To support his/her claim, the author compared the number of on-the-job accidents between his/her company and Panoply Industries which produces the similar type of products and is located nearby. It seems logical and convincing at first glance, however, the author’s argument is rife with holes which might lead to different conclusion.
First, lack of rest may not be the primary reason for accidents. As mentioned in the memo, the factory is a new one, thus we cannot rule out the probability that workers have not get used to how to operate machines yet. In contrast, Panoply’s employees were rich in experiences, therefore they could avoid common on-the-job accidents. Additionally, another reason can be account for the higher percentage of accidents at the author’s factory compared with the figure for Panoply is working condition. For example, workers at that factory are not provided with protective gear, while the level of danger involved while working is much higher, so it can be resulted in higher frequency of accidents. Therefore, attributing such accidents to fatigue and sleep deprivation in a major way seems illogical and far-fetched.
Secondly, the author’s argument does not make a concrete connection between the shorter work shifts and getting adequate amounts of rest. Nothing can ensure that all employees will utilize this extra hour for sleeping. If the working time is reduced by one hour, some who live in a budget may seek for part-time jobs to cover their living cost, while others may join extra classes at night. As a result, instead of spending more time on sleeping, they continue working relentlessly. Therefore, the presumption that workers will devote an extra one hour-off to recovery purpose is totally baseless and unsound.
In conclusion, it is not deniable that many on-the-job accidents caused by fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers, however there may be several factors that need to be examined carefully to find out the primary culprits for this phenomena. If not, the logical fallacies in the argument of the vice president might lead to a flaw decision.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1916 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.096 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.663 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.434 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.312 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 179, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'got', 'gotten'.
Suggestion: got; gotten
...t the probability that workers have not get used to how to operate machines yet. In...
^^^
Line 2, column 769, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a major way" with adverb for "major"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...idents to fatigue and sleep deprivation in a major way seems illogical and far-fetched. Seco...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 230, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ly to find out the primary culprits for this phenomena. If not, the logical fallacie...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1974.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29222520107 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79392843945 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.565683646113 0.468620217663 121% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.0090226234 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.375 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3125 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189253361052 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0555413751141 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437958609875 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107991007024 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0575798558424 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.1 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.