The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In order to increase profits of Monarch Books and prevent it from a competition with Book and Bean, the business manager of this brand recommended opening a café in replacement of children’s book corner. To support his/her argument, the manager cited data from national census which illustrates the downward trend in the population of children aged under 10 and the plan of Book and Bean to open a new bookstore with an in-store coffee shop in Collegeville. However, the author’s argument is rife with holes, thus not strong enough to ensure the efficiency of that recommendation.
Firstly, because of the difference in business model of two bookstore brands, there is no guarantee of success if Monarch Books copy the way that Book and Bean combines its bookstore and café. An in-store coffee shop might change the reader-friendly atmosphere that has been Monarch Books’ reputation for over twenty years. For example, some people could go to bookstore just to grab a cup of coffee because of its nice view and the noise from coffee corner could disturb other readers. Additionally, the decision to venture in F&B industry means that Monarch Books have to cover many more categories than before, such as management, hygiene standard, menu, and staffs for the café. Therefore, it would be high-risk and not likely to result in the rise in profits.
Secondly, the author supposed that Monarch Books should stop selling children’s books due to the low in birth rate recently. However, there are no specific evidences provided by the author to proof the reliability of his/her prediction about the drop in sales of children’s books. The number of books sold may depend on several factors. One-bookworm-kid can read 10 books a week and most of children in Collegeville are keen on reading books, for example, thus in this case the high or low in sales is determined by reading culture of this area. The removal of children’s books section may have prompted not only the decrease in the numbers of children who regularly pay a visit to the book store, but also a significant loss in potential consumers that are their parents.
In conclusion, due to its reliance on number of unsubstantiated assumption, the manager’s argument is unreliable. In order to fully evaluate the recommendation, a significant amount of additional evidence is to be required before an official decision is made.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1944 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.884 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.808 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.533 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.722 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 384, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the children') or simply say ''most children''.
Suggestion: most of the children; most children
...okworm-kid can read 10 books a week and most of children in Collegeville are keen on reading boo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2015.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 395.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10126582278 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95548775456 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554430379747 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 615.6 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.4284152447 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.333333333 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3333333333 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.93333333333 5.70786347227 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.320762869795 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10504220559 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0937321301985 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175095400308 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0678624835115 0.0628817314937 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.