The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Store owners in Central Plaza predict that the prohibition of skateboarding will result in the improvement in sanitary condition and their businesses. To support his/her recommendation, one store owner referred to the relationship between the rise in the number of skateboard users and the decline in those of shoppers. In addition, the author cited a significant rise in the amount of rubbish and vandalism throughout the plaza during the same period of two years. In order to fully evaluate this recommendation, however, there are two questions that need to be answered.
The first question is that are there any other reasons for the drop in the number of shoppers in Central Plaza? It may simply because of inflation, thus people who live in a budget decide to purchase only necessary stuffs in local markets instead of shopping in a mall which cost a fortune. Unless evidence were presented based on quantitative data, it would be inadequate to convince city’s mayor to ban skateboarding. For example, if store owners implemented a survey asking the residents who live near the Central Plaza why they stop shopping there and most of them complained about the chaos caused by skateboarding, thus it could be used to effectively back the author’s argument.
The second question is that what evidence used by the author to reconcile the discrepancy between skateboarding and vandalism. In the letter sent to the editor, the store owner only mentioned the deterioration of facilities and the unsanitary condition without any evidence or information related to skateboarders, therefore the argument does not effectively show a connection between these two matters. In order to make it more convincing, the author, for example, should provide CCTV recording the destructive act of skateboarders or showing that the grow in the amount of litter just happens around skating area. It is easy to understand that the more people taking part in a particular activity, the more trash is thrown to the environment. Nevertheless, it could be due to unconscious behavior of anyone, not only of people who skateboard.
In conclusion, though it seems logical and convincing at first glance, the argument is rife with holes and lacking of evidence, thus not strong enough to ensure the efficiency of the author’s recommendation to the current problems. If the author cannot answer two fundamental questions mentioned above, I do believe that he/she cannot persuade the authority to ban skateboarding in the Central plaza.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 2064 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.084 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.956 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.583 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.327 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 550, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ve act of skateboarders or showing that the grow in the amount of litter just happens ar...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2115.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23514851485 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07588224947 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54702970297 0.468620217663 117% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.8425625465 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.0 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9333333333 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.13333333333 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210760813125 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0703653400028 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0746683896733 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126720817973 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495591846558 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.34 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 98.500998004 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.