The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company."During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products

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The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company.

"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

The author in the above argument, based on some information concludes that higher on-the-job accidents rate in their company is the result of longer work shifts. Although this argument seems reasonable, the author did not present any pursuasive evidence and cogent correlation. And, other alternative explanations could be considered as reasons of this higher statistics.

First, it has mentioned that the factory is opened, recently. Thus, employees could be less experienced in working in new environment and with new machines and this can increase the possibility of occurring accidents, while Panobly factory used more expert and skillful workforce.

Also, It is possible that Panobly held some training classes that give employees more information about the dangers that may harm them and how these accidents could be declined and in this way make employees more cautious about probable dangers and raise their awareness about correct safety measurements that they can do to protect themselves.

The other explanation that can justify this event is that, the author only mentioned that two factories manufacture similar productions but did not mention any detail about two factories equipment and tools. Maybe they use different kinds of equipment and those who are used in newly opened factory posed more threats to workers because of their structures and operations. Also, many other factors like the building of factories and process of producing and their management can be involved in increasing accident rates.

Further, panobly might hold other measurements rather than short work time to lessen the number of on-the-job accidents. Like providing some sport facilities and entertainments in specific intervals during working time in order to decrease the employees’ fatigue.

It can be seen that, there are various factors that can increase employees’ on-the-job-accidents and author could made the argument more cogent by considering all of them.

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Sentence: The other explanation that can justify this event is that, the author only mentioned that two factories manufacture similar productions but did not mention any detail about two factories equipment and tools.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to factories and manufacture
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to factories and equipment

Sentence: It can be seen that, there are various factors that can increase employees' on-the-job-accidents and author could made the argument more cogent by considering all of them.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to could and made

Sentence: Although this argument seems reasonable, the author did not present any pursuasive evidence and cogent correlation.
Error: pursuasive Suggestion: No alternate word

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK

argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 301 350
No. of Characters: 1628 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.165 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.409 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.383 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.703 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5