The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is concluded in the argument that by curtailing its operating expenses by closing the store at 6:00 PM rather than 9:00 PM and also by eradicating the stock of movies form the store which is more than five years old. This conclusion is based on the evidence that the profitable results are achieved in store at downtown Marston. However, before this statement is properly evaluated, three questions has to be answered.
First, what is the relation between the store at Marston and the other nine Galore stores? Perhaps it is possible that store at Marston is profitable because it has perfectly store the movies that is more required to the customer and they might be closing at early because it might be possible that the customer in downtown is more inclined to shop during daytime or may be before 6:00 PM but that might not be the case with other nine stores. What if the customers at the other stores is different from the Marston store than implementing such decision would not be wise. Hence, not clear relation between the Marston store and other store is given. If these scenarios has merit, then conclusion drawn from the argument is significantly weakened.
Second, what is the consequences of reducing the movies that is released before five years? Perhaps it is possible that customers at the other store apart from the Marston store, may like mostly the movies that are quaint, thus, eliminating such movies from stores might produce negative results. For example the customer demands more of the archaic movies even older than five years then eliminating such movies will ultimately curtail the store productivity. The requirement of the movies of the customer at each store has to be taken into consideration. If above is true, the conclusion does not hold water.
Third, what is the relation of decreasing the expenses by closing the store at 6:00 PM? Perhaps it is possible that customers at other store likes to buy the movies form the stores at night. Additionally, it is also possible that the opening of new stores in the town which offers more discount on the movies has been the cause of declining of the profits of Gaoler’s store. Hence, until clear and systematic evidences are provided the conclusion drawn is flawed.
In sum, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to provide much systematic evidence then it will be possible to fully evaluate the feasibility of the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2021 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.124 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.448 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...due to several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to provide much syst...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, then, third, thus, apart from, as to, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2072.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 422.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90995260664 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53239876712 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61627257571 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.42654028436 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 651.6 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.1599064934 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.052631579 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2105263158 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47368421053 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.292018956559 0.218282227539 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106336280962 0.0743258471296 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808515298983 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177691899198 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101323364521 0.0628817314937 161% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.