The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt suggests recommendations in order to increase profit of movies galore’s ten video rental store as it recently faced decline in profit making. it assumes the profit making process to be equivalent to the other store located in Downtown. there must be answers of the questions that arises while comparing to the other store’s profit making scenario and there must be enough analysis for the reasons why the decline occurred.
Firstly, galore’s other nine stores might have different market than the one in Downtown Martson . may be the Downtown Martson is located in such a place where people get back to their home earlier. that’s why closing the store at 6 pm instead of 9 pm worked there. The people there might have work in the evening so they don’t go to movie stores after 6 pm. The same thing might not happen for any of the other nine stores as people mostly prefer watching movies at night and go to the store to collect movies at the evening.
Secondly, reducing stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago might not work for other stores. Do they prefer watching recently released movies only? don’t they have a taste on classic movies that are mostly not released within five years? is the market of the stores is consisted by the teenagers or young adults only and not senior citizens? if not then the assumption is completely wrong in order to make more profits in those stores.
Finally, considering the fact that they are famous for their special bargains, the question arises why the recent decline of the profit occurred? has the preference of consumers changed while choosing budget friendly products? are they considering low price movies as not the quality maintained products? are they going for products with higher rates assuming that it would ensure better quality? if so, then the assumption that raising rental price is not good to improve profits is completely wrong.
In conclusion, the above prompt has made assumptions based on not so credible evidences and has not considered many of the scenarios that may have occurred behind the cases mentioned. it must have valid answers of the questions mentioned here. only then the prompt would be considered as viable otherwise not.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1825 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.79 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.382 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.059 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.443 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.81 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 159, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ecently faced decline in profit making. it assumes the profit making process to be...
^^
Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...to the other store located in Downtown. there must be answers of the questions that a...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... reasons why the decline occurred. Firstly, galore's other nine stores...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 102, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... market than the one in Downtown Martson . may be the Downtown Martson is located ...
^^
Line 9, column 105, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: May
...rket than the one in Downtown Martson . may be the Downtown Martson is located in s...
^^^
Line 9, column 205, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That&apos
... people get back to their home earlier. that's why closing the store at 6 pm instead...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to collect movies at the evening. Secondly, reducing stock by eliminating ...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 174, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Don&apos
...watching recently released movies only? don't they have a taste on classic movies t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 269, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
... mostly not released within five years? is the market of the stores is consisted b...
^^
Line 17, column 373, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ng adults only and not senior citizens? if not then the assumption is completely w...
^^
Line 17, column 373, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng adults only and not senior citizens? if not then the assumption is completely w...
^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...make more profits in those stores. Finally, considering the fact that they ...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 147, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Has
... recent decline of the profit occurred? has the preference of consumers changed whi...
^^^
Line 25, column 202, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to budget'
Suggestion: to budget
...nce of consumers changed while choosing budget friendly products? are they considering...
^^^^^^
Line 25, column 228, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
...hile choosing budget friendly products? are they considering low price movies as no...
^^^
Line 25, column 306, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
...as not the quality maintained products? are they going for products with higher rat...
^^^
Line 25, column 398, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ng that it would ensure better quality? if so, then the assumption that raising re...
^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...prove profits is completely wrong. In conclusion, the above prompt has made...
^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 185, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ve occurred behind the cases mentioned. it must have valid answers of the question...
^^
Line 33, column 245, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Only
...nswers of the questions mentioned here. only then the prompt would be considered as ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1938.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11345646438 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56049250803 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506596306069 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.6062159412 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2857142857 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0476190476 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.90476190476 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190430477531 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595102672327 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624552765455 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102099380998 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0496060718263 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.06 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.