The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of this argument, the owner of movies galore indicate that, they must reduce operating expenses in order to offset the declining profits. The factors that the author would like to reduce are quite reasonable for the conclusion these operating expenses play an important role to diminish the benefits of his store. However, there are some element he fail to consider and need to be cited to strengthen his inference.
first of all, the most significant vulnerable assumption he argues is there is not other reason which contributes to decrease the gain of store except operating expenses. Of course, there could be other important key to solve this problem. what if the number of the customer feel unpleasant for your rude employee? then, other solution he mentioned in the argument will be useless. what I think is the trend of profits would be closely related to the satisfaction of customer. therefore, I recommend him to first survey or ask his customer about their gratification of a chain of movies galore.
Secondly, In my view, raising prices could be an option to increase gain. if the owner of movie galore are struggling the problem of performance of his store even though the number of the customer are still enough to make profit, then the margin of product or net profit will be issued. In this case, one of the option is to announce in the front of the store to explain the situation and reasons why he need to increase the rental fee of his store.
thirdly, The support or reasons for reducing operating hours is not clearly specified. the correlation between reducing operating hours and profit need to be explained in more details. In general view, customer who visit his store after his work after 6 pm might be great source of his store to make profit. if he worries about the employee fee which should be paid for operating hours, more discussion on the trade-off between both need to be considered.
Moreover, reducing its overall inventory by no longer stocking any dvd 5 years go might not be good choice for their store's benefit. Since the paragraph describes the movies galore has several franchises, it can be inferenced the beginning of the movies galore, when the headquarter of movies galore has been held, is long time ago. therefore, the old customer who have been used the store for a long time ago might be great part in the compromise of customer set. by doing so, reducing old dvd players might be the worst option to lose the main old customer for several years.
In conclusion, if the above possibilities have been discussed, they could be cited to convince the reader who believe reducing operating expenses is best option to solve problem of their store's profits.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2201 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.713 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.497 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.142 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.721 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 350, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'elements'?
Suggestion: elements
...s of his store. However, there are some element he fail to consider and need to be cite...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 361, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'fails'.
Suggestion: fails
...ore. However, there are some element he fail to consider and need to be cited to str...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e cited to strengthen his inference. first of all, the most significant vul...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 3, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
... to strengthen his inference. first of all, the most significant vulnerable...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...er important key to solve this problem. what if the number of the customer feel unpl...
^^^^
Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...feel unpleasant for your rude employee? then, other solution he mentioned in the arg...
^^^^
Line 5, column 385, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...tioned in the argument will be useless. what I think is the trend of profits would b...
^^^^
Line 5, column 480, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...elated to the satisfaction of customer. therefore, I recommend him to first survey or ask...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion of a chain of movies galore. Secondly, In my view, raising prices co...
^^
Line 9, column 12, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hain of movies galore. Secondly, In my view, raising prices could be an o...
^^
Line 9, column 78, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...es could be an option to increase gain. if the owner of movie galore are strugglin...
^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e the rental fee of his store. thirdly, The support or reasons for redu...
^^^
Line 15, column 4, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thirdly
...he rental fee of his store. thirdly, The support or reasons for reducing op...
^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 91, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...erating hours is not clearly specified. the correlation between reducing operating ...
^^^
Line 15, column 312, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...eat source of his store to make profit. if he worries about the employee fee which...
^^
Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tween both need to be considered. Moreover, reducing its overall inventory...
^^^
Line 19, column 271, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...he beginning of the movies galore, when the headquarter of movies galore has been held, is long...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 337, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...galore has been held, is long time ago. therefore, the old customer who have been used th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 469, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: By
...part in the compromise of customer set. by doing so, reducing old dvd players migh...
^^
Line 23, column 147, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'is the best'.
Suggestion: is the best
...who believe reducing operating expenses is best option to solve problem of their stores...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, third, thirdly, i think, in conclusion, in general, of course, first of all, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 467.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87794432548 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57082946704 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498929336188 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6077894014 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.476190476 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2380952381 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.70786347227 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 20.0 5.25449101796 381% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165271776605 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548481427741 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0778825226619 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.095741286065 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477749508971 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.